


A Family of Bad Assassins

by BeifongFirebender



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra, Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Assassination Attempt(s), Azula (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Crazy Azula (Avatar), Dysfunctional Family, Family Drama, Fire Nation (Avatar), Fire Nation Royal Family, Gen, Hallucinations, Long Lost/Secret Relatives, Revenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-12 15:28:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 22,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28512666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeifongFirebender/pseuds/BeifongFirebender
Summary: Azula learns of Izumi’s existence and decides to end the newborn’s life in order to get revenge on her brother and Mai.The plan doesn’t work out. Adjustments are made.
Relationships: Azula & Izumi (Avatar), Azula & Mai (Avatar), Azula & Zuko (Avatar), Izumi & Mai (Avatar), Izumi & Zuko (Avatar), Mai/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 33
Kudos: 94





	1. The Woman Who Never Told the Truth

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, so, listen up. This isn’t really a warning, but since the summary mentions baby murder, I just wanted to point out that nothing graphic is described, just a person contemplating killing a helpless infant. I don’t know why I’m specifically mentioning this tbh, but it unsettled me to even think about hurting a newborn for the purpose of writing this, so idk if I’m just soft or what. I tried to mention it as little as possible. No babies were harmed in the making of this, only my soft, soft heart.
> 
> Happy reading...

Even when she was being impulsive, Azula had a plan.

Whenever she decided to do something, her mind would offer up a plan of action with such ease, she sometimes wondered if there was a part of her subconscious that was always scheming in the background, just waiting on her to make up her mind about what she wanted next.

It could very well be true. If the last decade was any indication, there were a lot of things Azula didn’t and would never understand about her own mind. Tonight, however, she would make headway on that for the first time.

Averting the palace guards was easy. Father had her memorize the routes and Zuzu hadn’t bothered to change them in the slightest since he became Fire Lord. Not that she was complaining... Now there was just the climb. The window was tens of stories in the air, and using fire to propel herself was unwise, as it would attract unwanted attention in the dark of the night.

As she readied her climbing gear, Azula had a sudden urge to leave everything and abandon her mission. She faltered. Then right on clue, she heard her father’s voice.

_Yes, by all means… Leave… Tuck your tail between your legs like the miserable bitch you are and let your useless brother keep thinking he got away with everything…_

Ozai had become a common _visitor_ of hers since she heard of his death in prison about a year ago. He’d hung himself allegedly, and it still affected her less than what she’d found out a week ago. Zuko and Mai had a daughter. Something in her ignited again after learning the two traitors were living out their dream in the palace that was always supposed to be hers.

She could no longer stay away, not while their heir was sleeping in her old room, growing and waiting to take the throne her parents stole. Zuko didn’t get to have everything. He already had their mother’s love, her friends’ love, the world’s adoration, her throne, her palace, her whole life, and it was about time he finally lost something again.

Once Azula abandoned her doubt, once she started climbing for the little princess’ room without hesitation, her father went silent. All the voices did. If she hadn’t already been sure that was a clear sign she was on the right path and should go forward. She cherished the silence as she stepped into the palace through the window.

A small blue flame in her palm allowed her to quickly find the crib in the middle of the room. She carried a knife with her, yet as she was walking over to the baby, she realized it would be so vulnerable, she would probably have no difficulty killing it without a weapon at all. She almost laughed at her own silliness. Holding a newborn at knifepoint was illogical. Infants were weak and defenseless by design. At the mercy of whatever adult was closest to them, and tonight that was Azula.

She eyed the door briefly, identifying four guards creating shadows over the light coming in under the door from the hallway. Not enough. Not tonight. Not against her. She moved back the red fabric falling over the crib and her gaze fell on the child. A child that was very much awake. That deviated from the plan. No matter…

Her grip on the knife tightened. If it was quick, the baby wouldn’t even have time to let out a sound. Azula couldn’t afford to wait. Anything could set off the child and expose her position to every guard in the vicinity. She knew what to do. One smooth movement... Yet somehow, she found herself captivated by the infant’s gaze. It was much smaller than Azula had expected, and suddenly she realized she’d never seen one this young and this close. It was so small...

It— _She_ didn’t appear to be in distress over Azula pointing a knife at her. Her small, chubby face displayed nothing but pure curiosity. Her eyes never left Azula’s for a second, and it allowed her to notice how pure gold the little girl’s irises were. Azula never wanted to look away.

Why wasn’t the girl crying? Why was she so still? Was there something wrong with her?

The child’s mood could turn at any moment, and Azula knew that. She knew she was risking capture and a return to the mental institution with every second she didn’t act. Yet, she couldn’t swing her knife. Not at a baby. Not at _this_ baby.

The little girl was wrapped in some kind of cloth to keep her limbs still, but she was fighting it, wiggling her hands and feet, not in distress, but in excitement at seeing a new face. It still reminded Azula of being in a straitjacket. That one thought was enough to make her feel the straps around her torso, feel them tightening and tightening until she couldn’t do much more than breathe shallow breaths. She put away the knife. Her memories might have found her, but the voices were still silent. If they were silent, it meant she was on the right path.

The little princess had struggled so much in the meantime, her arms were free now and kicking about without purpose. Azula could not say what came over her in that moment but she found herself leaning over and reaching carefully to tuck the baby’s arms back in. The thoughts of assassination were not completely gone from her mind, but rather pushed in the back by a genuine fascination with the little creature.

The whole ordeal created an unfamiliar warm feeling in her chest, and she feared it as much as she wanted it to stay. She touched the infant’s little arm as gently as she possibly could, and found it was so soft and fragile she had trouble believing every person she’d ever known started out that way. Her parents, Zuko, even her... She, too, was once a small and fragile creature in need of so much protection and gentleness. Then unexpectedly, the baby somehow grabbed hold of Azula’s index finger and it made her stop everything she was doing. The warm feeling in her chest doubled and Azula, unbelievably, found herself smiling, all ill intentions abandoned in an instant.

What had happened? Azula was sure she hated children. She even hated children while she was a child. How was she so easily disarmed by this infant? Even while she was thinking that, the little human was making gurgling sounds that threatened to make Azula cry from how overwhelming the sensation in her chest had become.

The voices were still silent, and suddenly, Azula knew what she wanted to do.

Picking up a baby wasn’t as hard as people made it out to be. Yes, the child squirmed a bit, but Azula could make her body warmer with just a thought and it seemed to soothe the little girl into being calm. Azula was surprised at how natural it felt to hold a baby, to be gentle towards a small human who couldn’t endure anything else.

Not a single doubt crossed Azula’s mind as she walked to the window. This was perfect. Zuko didn’t get everything he wanted, this little princess got to live, and Azula got to explore her connection to her further.

This time Azula didn’t waste time on climbing the wall. She simply stepped off the windowsill and allowed fire jets from her feet and one of her hands to slow her descent into something manageable. She’d left the climbing gear and knife in the nursery to point at a non-bender perpetrator.

Even when she was being impulsive, Azula had a plan.

**oooooooooo**

The baby was calm and quiet as Azula reached the already busy streets, right up until they stood in line to board a ship off the island. Then she screamed her little heart out for all of Capital City to hear and Azula didn’t have one single idea on how to make it stop. Eventually, she had to get out of line and hide in an alley close by, since a screaming baby was getting her a lot of unwanted attention.

She looked between the houses to the sea and the horizon only to realize the sun was rising. The palace must be realizing the Princess was missing by now, and Azula’s plan didn’t account for the little girl drawing so much attention. She was still crying like Azula was somehow hurting her, which she’d checked multiple times she was not. It felt almost like the girl knew she was being taken away from her parents, but Azula put an end to that silly thought right away.

“Calm down.” She knew it wouldn’t work, but desperation was getting to her slowly. The screaming was unbearable. “Quiet.”

In a stroke of brilliance Azula remembered Mai’s mother with her son, Tom-Tom, as a baby. She would rock him, or one of the servants would. She attempted to mimic the movement, but the child seemed to think Azula’s performance left something to be desired, as she was still screaming.

“Come on now…” More screaming and flailing. “This is unbecoming of a Princess of the Fire Nation.”

A moment of clarity hit Azula. Taking care of a child on one’s own was a formidable undertaking. Did she want to put all that effort into this girl if she could get the same effect on Zuko by simply delivering the girl to the nearest orphanage? The voices were still silent. Azula had half expected her mother to show up, insulting Azula’s _parenting_ skills, but no. She wouldn’t even hear them over the crying if they were here… Crying?

Azula realized it had been truly quiet for a few seconds and looked down at the child. The girl had tears brimming her golden eyes, but she was no longer screaming, just looking up at Azula while being rocked.

This time the warm feeling in Azula’s chest came back with a thought accompanying it.

_I should give you back._

It wouldn’t even be hard… She’d drop the baby over at Mai’s mother’s house and they would find her later, leaving Azula with plenty of time for an escape. But what if Azula missed her? What if she wanted the warm feeling back?

The girl would grow up to be a princess, just like Azula was. Strong, proud, beautiful and powerful beyond measure… _Just_ like Azula was. All the pressure, the isolation, maybe even the madness… This little girl would have to endure it. But not if she didn’t go back. Not if she stayed. Not if Azula could help it. Not if Azula kept her.

The voices stopped around this little girl, and that had to mean something! Maybe it was destiny, maybe it wasn’t, but Azula had made her choice. She walked the baby onto the ship leaving the main island. The girl did cry a bit as the ship was leaving harbor, but Azula let her play with her fingers again, squeezing them and pulling them into her mouth and it quieted her down, if only for a little while.

“Your little one is beautiful…” One of the other passengers, an old woman, approached Azula and started making silly faces at the baby. Azula had never been casually engaged in conversation like this. People didn’t simply start chit-chatting with the Princess. And later… Well, they didn’t line up to speak to a crazy person talking to herself either.

“You are precious, you hear me…” The woman continued and Azula had to fight the urge to try to hide the child from her. The baby was _hers_.

“She is.” Azula made an effort to smile and the baby liked it so much she did it too. How had she ever thought about giving this child away to just anyone? “Thank you.”

“What’s her name?” the woman asked next.

Azula wasn’t prepared for it, but the answer just slipped out naturally.

“Izumi.” She’d grown up thinking she would be Fire Lord, and amongst the duties of that position was to further the dynasty. Azula had always expected to have children, several at that, and ever since she was a little girl, she had several names prepared. The planned name for her first-born daughter just slipped out naturally like she didn’t even remember she was to be the girl’s assassin only hours earlier.

**oooooooooo**

Azula had been hiding out on a remote and abandoned island in the Fire Nation up until that point. It was just a rock in the middle of the ocean, with a little forest for food and a sandy beach for easy access by rowboat. It had been inhabited once, a decade ago perhaps, Azula knew since there was a run-down cabin right at the edge of the forest, overlooking the beach. She’d been staying there for months and she hadn’t bothered to change it in any way, sleeping under the part of the roof where it wasn’t leaking and eating only fruit straight from the branches that were reaching through the broken windows into the living room.

Now that she brought baby Izumi there, however, that would no longer work. Over the next few weeks Azula found out that, unlike with everything she tried before, she wasn’t instantly good at fixing houses. In fact, she was downright awful at it. In contrast, she found taking care of the child a lot easier to get into, and by her own estimation, she had mastered it within a week. It was all together tiring work, but the voices were quiet and that was all Azula cared about.

By the time Izumi was about a year old, the cabin had become a functioning home for the two of them. Azula wasn’t one to admit defeat, so the house was the one to give in first. As for Izumi, she’d grown and changed so much in the months she’d spent with Azula that the woman doubted any of the soldiers Zuko still had searching for his daughter would recognize her even if she was right in front of them. No, not _his_ daughter. Izumi was Azula’s daughter now. Not by blood, not completely, but she was. Her brother couldn’t protect her, so he didn’t deserve her. Not like Azula did.

The two of them still kept away from the villages on the neighboring islands as much as possible, for safety. What Azula didn’t know that night she took Izumi was that the warm feeling in her chest came at a price. A sharp and cold feeling, worse than anything she’d ever felt before, every time she’d think about someone taking Izumi away from her. Taking her daughter away from her.

As Azula picked mangoes with Izumi in her arms, she battled with those thoughts again, but no voices. Not anymore. Not ever again. Not as long as she had Izumi. Now she had only one fear, and that was being separated from the child. From her child.

In the beginning she’d thought having a daughter of her own would make her sympathize with her own mother, or at the very least understand her, but feeling like she did, loving her daughter more and more every day Azula could only conclude her mother didn’t feel the same way towards her. If she had, she would’ve never left her like she had. She could never leave Izumi.

The girl was currently nestled into her side, mimicking her by grabbing at mangoes in the same way she did only with no results. She’d been doing that more and more in the recent weeks, mimicking Azula in everything with little to no understanding of the action’s purpose, watching her every move with great interest and bewilderment. Azula was sure she didn’t know of a better feeling.

“Mom is picking mangoes,” Azula said slowly and clearly, then paused hoping Izumi would repeat or try to respond in some way. What followed was still just incoherent babbling, but it was progress since the child had always been very quiet.

“Izumi is picking mangoes.” Azula pointed at the girl to help her understand, but suspected she had a much deeper comprehension of what Azula was saying than she let on. “Can you say _mango_? _Izumi_? _Mom_?”

The answer was more babbling, so Azula put down the child and let her walk around the beach. The girl enjoyed roaming around greatly, and there weren’t many things on a remote island that could happen to her while she was in Azula’s line of sight, so Azula often let her explore, up to a point.

Lost in the thoughts about her mother again, Azula realized the child had been quiet for a few moments too long and turned around, only to find Izumi eating sand.

“No, Izumi.” She dropped the mango basket and leapt to pull the toddler’s hand out of her mouth. “Look at my face.” Azula pointed, then when she had the girl’s attention shook her head slowly and obviously. “No.”

“No,” Izumi repeated successfully, and even shook her head the same way Azula did before.

“That’s right.” She patted the little girl’s head, gave her a smile and walked back to her basket to peel the mangoes. She sat down on the ground in a way that allowed her to glance at Izumi from time to time. Sometimes to make sure she was safe, but sometimes just to enjoy her daughter’s face as she discovered the world.

“Ma.”

It was Izumi’s multipurpose word. The girl wasn’t as vocal yet as Azula would’ve liked, mostly pointing and grabbing at things to relay her messages to the world, but this one word, or rather sound, she used often to get her mother’s attention in any situation.

“What is it?” Azula looked up from the fruit.

“Ma.” Izumi was standing by the water and pointing at the horizon while furrowing her little brow.

“It’s just a storm, Izumi. We have hours before it hits.” The toddler did show signs of hearing her, but kept pointing and staring into the distance. “Can you say _storm_?”

“Ma!”

“There’s no reason to be scared, it’s just…” Azula trailed off, as she studied the horizon with more attention and realized there was a boat coming towards the island. She instinctively walked to stand near Izumi. The girl lowered her hand and looked up at her mother as if asking _Do you get it now?_

Taking the storm into account, it was very probable those three men she could see rowing were just fishermen who needed shelter because they got caught out at the wrong time. Yes, it was logical… Azula breathed in deeply and took Izumi into her arms to help herself relax. As the girl snuggled up to her she began believing they would be okay.

The men were sent by Zuko.

“Routine check, Ma’am. Sorry to inconvenience you.” Their leader said. “Your island isn’t on our maps, found you by pure accident, but we are talking to all parents of girls this age.” The large man pointed to where Izumi was hiding behind Azula’s leg.

“What’s this about? Avatar stuff?” Azula feigned ignorance.

“Afraid nothing so cheerful. We’re looking for the kidnapped princess.”

“How awful…”

“Yes, it is.” He bowed his head. “You’ll have to come to the mainland with us for interrogation. We have an earthbending truthseer there who can clear you.”

That should be easy. She’d fooled one once already. But what if this time it was different? What if she was different? No, she couldn’t risk Izumi like this.

“Certainly.” Azula nodded solemnly. “I just have to tell my husband first. He’s off hunting in the woods.” _That’s what husbands did, right?_ “We can wait for him inside.” She wanted to make sure to leave the men no time to refuse, so she picked up Izumi and walked to the house.

There she put the child to bed and returned to sit in the living room with the soldiers waiting for someone who not only wasn’t coming, but didn’t exist.

“Sure is taking a long time...” one of them said, springing Azula’s trap. Tears welled up in her eyes.

“Oh, he must have slipped on the cliffs again. I told him to stay away from there! Would you be willing to go look for him with me?”

“In this storm?” the leader asked.

“I can’t bear the thought of him alone and possibly hurt out there…”

They agreed in the end. Two of them followed her into the forest, while the leader insisted on staying at the house with Izumi, in case her imaginary father came back on his own. The storm was convenient, as the lightning attacks Azula used to kill the two men didn’t draw too much attention. She made quick work of throwing them off the cliffs on the far side of the island and raced back to finish off the last one. This one she killed with his friend’s weapon so as not to risk damaging the house with fire or lightning.

As soon as she got the blood off her hands, Azula ran to Izumi’s room to pick her up from the crib and soothe her. The man’s dying screams had awoken her and she hadn’t stopped crying and calling out for her mother since.

“Ma!” The girl was still shrieking even after Azula picked her up, but it didn’t matter. Azula had successfully protected her.

“It’s just a storm. Shh…” She stroked the girl’s hair and a ping of sadness went through her as she remembered her mother trying to do it to her once, before Azula escaped her grip. “No one can hurt you while I’m here. I won’t let anyone take you away…”

Izumi calmed with time, and wanted to play again, but Azula had to keep her in her room. There was still a bloody corpse ruining their couch and the child had no business seeing that. To give herself some time, Azula decided to put her back in the crib for the time being, but Izumi sneezed, her eyes still watery from the crying earlier, and in doing so created a small blast of fire from her nose.

Azula was taken aback. In a way, she’d expected it. Zuko was so different from her in many ways, but for better or worse, they did have the same parentage. The same blood that made Azula a firebending prodigy, ran through Izumi’s veins. As for Mai, she might not have been born a bender, but she came from an old and respected firebending family. It was no wonder Izumi would grow up to be one too. Problem was, Azula didn’t know how to teach firebending any other way than the way she was taught, with constant threats and pain. The way her father tutored her was cruel, but effective. She was raised to be a weapon, precise and deadly. At that her father succeeded.

But Izumi wouldn’t have to be a weapon. She wouldn’t _have_ _to_ be anything. That was Azula’s gift to her daughter, the reason she’d taken her in the first place. That was why Azula would have to find a new way to teach her.

“Ma?” The toddler looked up at her with wide eyes, not really understanding what she just did and what it meant. Azula pushed her hand between two bars of the crib and made a small blue flame in front of Izumi. The child stared at it in wonder for a long moment, then tried to touch it. Azula extinguished it. It became a game. Izumi was laughing and Azula barely remembered there was a dead body to get rid of after this…

When the storm was over, she threw the man’s corpse off the cliffs. Then she broke apart their boat and threw the pieces into the sea where she knew they would end up on shore on another island. People would assume the storm caught them. They wouldn’t know that would’ve been a better end.

**oooooooooo**

“Mama, why is your fire blue?” Izumi suddenly asked while Azula tried to rub shampoo into the five-year-old’s long hair, sitting next to her in the shallows.

“What brought this on now?” Azula picked that moment to make sure her daughter’s ears were getting cleaned too, which made the girl squirm and giggle.

“I’m just thinking…”

For a long moment Azula considered telling the truth, how it was an accident. _Born lucky_ … That was all there was to it, really. It was probably a genetic anomaly of some kind. A gift from fate, deserved by generations of careful breeding in her family.

“It’s because it’s hotter.”

“My fire isn’t blue.”

“Well, if you practice a lot maybe when you’re big, it will be.”

The girl beamed. “Really? You’ll teach me, Mom?”

“Of course.” Azula was beginning to learn that lying was an important part of being a mother. Knowing what to say and when to say it. The truth was, carrying Zuko’s disappointing genes, there was little chance the girl would ever master blue fire. Or be more than a mediocre bender. It was a pity. “Rinse.”

At her mother’s order the girl took a large breath and dove into the sea. She’d never been afraid of the water so at this age, she was already decent at swimming, as well as diving. If Azula was being honest, it took a lot to scare Izumi. The little girl had the heart of a firebender few wartime generals Azula had met could match.

Izumi eventually resurfaced behind her and attempted to scare her, but they both ended up laughing. Yes, the girl was not scared of anything, and her mother feared only one thing. Azula had grown to love the girl so much, she couldn’t even fathom how she’d lived so much of her life without her. Without anyone, really…

“Mama, do I have to?” Izumi asked later, once Azula had combed her wet hair and reached for the scissors.

“It’s easier to handle that way, darling.” Azula stroked her daughter’s head, then placed her fingers to where she planned to cut. “Just this much. That’s all.”

“But I think it looks pretty this way.” Izumi moved her mother’s fingers away, then looked at her with pleading eyes, waiting for an answer.

“I suppose we could let it grow out a bit...”

“Yes! Thank you!” Izumi jumped in excitement, then turned towards her mother and studied her with a confused expression.

“What is it, Izumi?”

“Why don’t you let out your hair all the time?” The girl put her hands to her hips as she judged her mother’s appearance even more closely. Azula had almost forgotten she was drying her hair in the afternoon sun too.

“It goes into my eyes.”

“But you’re so pretty!” The girl felt the need to throw herself at Azula after that and hug her as tightly as her little arms allowed. “I love you, Mama.”

“Because I’m _so pretty_?” Azula laughed.

“Shh… No, you’re supposed to say it back.” Izumi whispered.

“I love you too, Izumi. More than you will ever know.”

Azula left her hair down. It was a phase, she told herself… Recently, she’d noticed Izumi wanted the two of them to look as similar as possible. The girl would get up, and immediately try to copy Azula’s entire outfit as closely as she could, then if she was unable, she would make Azula change into something she could copy. Same with the hair. Azula had kept Izumi’s at shoulder length since the girl first grew hair with no complaints, but now all of a sudden Izumi wanted long hair like her mommy.

It was adorable, although impractical.

“Am I old enough for school yet?” Izumi asked just as Azula was finishing up her bedtime story. That was another recent phase. Questions. Hundreds and hundreds of them a day.... Azula didn’t mind that as much, though. In her youth, when she used to imagine being Fire Lord and a mother, she didn’t imagine bathing her children, dressing them, or feeding them, that was all to be someone else's responsibility, but teaching them about the world, shaping their minds… She’d always looked forward to that.

“Why do you ask?” Azula looked up from the book she’d been reading the girl. “I can teach you to read right now if you’re interested.”

“I heard some kids talking while you were at the market today.”

It was inevitable, leaving Izumi to play with the village kids while Azula went shopping. She was nowhere near old enough to be left alone on the island, and Azula didn’t think she’d want to be left alone once she was. The result was Izumi heard about all kinds of things from those kids, and got all kinds of silly notions in her head.

“I think we should give it at least another year,” Azula said, knowing full well her father had her reading and doing some basic math at that age already. “When you’re ready.”

“But then I get to go with the other kids every day?”

Azula was already dreading the day.

“Of course.” This seemed to please Izumi, but only for a second.

“I can’t go.”

“Why, darling?”

“I don’t know how to row the boat!”

Azula allowed herself a small chuckle. “You won’t have to. I’ll take you.”

“You will?!”

“Of course.” She stroked the girl’s hair and smiled. Maybe she’d forget about it in a year?

“Every day? But you hate going to the village, Mama…”

“For you, I’ll go.” Azula pulled the girl into her until her little head was nestled into her neck. “I’ll even find a job somewhere there, so that we’ll always be close.”

Izumi found all of that exciting, but nevertheless, fell asleep rather quickly. Azula moved to her own bed then and lay awake, dreading the day she had to send her daughter with those other peasants. What if they somehow knew? What if Azula had let something slip in front of Izumi? What if? What if?

One thing was certain, Azula would find a way to always be near and always be watching. No one would take her daughter without a fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This idea came to me while I was thinking about fairytales and how I might connect them to ATLA in some way. This was supposed to be like a Rapunzel retelling in a way, and in the beginning, it was, but the idea changed so much during the creative process that I don’t think anyone would make the connection anymore.  
> I can’t believe I actually got myself into the right headspace to post something.  
> Anyway, there will be two more chapters, three in total. I’ll try and post in a few days.  
> 


	2. The Girl Who Was Never Afraid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so this chapter we’re looking at things from Izumi’s POV rather than Azula’s, so the wholesome family situation may look a little different from this perspective.

At age seven Izumi was already aware her mother wasn’t well.

She was used to the screaming and the crying during the night, but only recently had she thought to try to help her mother through it. Like every night, Azula was talking in her sleep. Apologizing for something this time, Izumi had long since stopped listening to the words. They were always nonsense, no matter how seriously her mother said them. Tonight, for example, her mother was apologizing for breaking into the royal palace…

“I didn’t mean to… I didn’t… I… He had to be taught a lesson, I wanted…” Azula kept tossing and turning. “No, no… I didn’t mean it! Please!”

Izumi couldn’t sleep. Not while her mother was like this, not anymore. She carefully made the trip from her room to her mother’s and stood at the door watching. Her mother was always so strong. Always so happy and proud. Then why did the nightmares come to her every single night? Izumi didn’t think her mother deserved them.

“No! Leave her! I’m sorry! No… No… No…”

“Mom, it’s okay,” Izumi said softly, while getting under the covers.

“Zuko, don’t leave me here! Don’t you dare! Don’t leave me… Don’t… Zuzu… Please…”

The only idea Izumi had was to stroke her mother’s hair, just like the woman did for her when she was scared. It didn’t seem to help. Izumi tried a tight hug next. There were no immediate results, but within a few minutes Azula quieted down. She was still talking, but not screaming. The crying was softer and Izumi felt her hug back.

“I know you all hate me,” Azula said. “I know I’m nothing but a monster to you. How could you understand?”

Eventually, however, Azula went completely quiet and Izumi fell asleep with a smile on her face. Tomorrow morning Azula woke up with her daughter in her arms and naturally had some questions.

“Were you scared? Is that why you came to sleep here with me?”

“Yes.” It was not a lie. Izumi had been scared. Scared for her mother. Scared to leave her alone with her nightmares. She was too young to understand what was happening to her mother, but not too young to try and make it better.

The same thing happened the next night too.

“Dad’s going to kill you… I heard… I know… It’s not a joke!”

It was hard on Izumi, seeing her mother like this. She wanted to do more. Really help. This was the first time in her life she was faced with a problem that a hug and a kind word couldn’t solve. No matter how many nights Izumi spent awake hugging her mother, she’d be woken by screams the next night all over again. It didn’t stop her.

In time she picked up on Azula’s patterns. Izumi went to bed early to get some sleep before the nightmares started, then held her mother through them for a few hours until she inevitably calmed, and then finally returned to her own bed to avoid any questions. Azula complained about Izumi sleeping in every day, but Izumi endured it. Somehow that was preferable to telling the truth.

**oooooooooo**

They learned about the Hundred Year War in school when Izumi was ten. That was the first time she’d ever heard of Princess Azula, but something about it felt wrong straight off. It was a common enough name up until the end of the war. People loved naming their children after royalty, as it was supposed to bring good fortune. At least the teacher told them so. A girl in Izumi’s class had an aunt named Azula, and decided to share it with everyone. A quiet boy sitting by the window said his older sister was also called Azula after the Princess, but his newborn cousin was named Zuko just a month ago.

Izumi didn’t know why, but she didn’t raise her hand and offer her mother’s name. She couldn’t explain why, but it felt wrong to draw a connection, any connection, between such an evil person and her loving mother. It felt like betrayal.

The teacher never mentioned Princess Azula’s blue fire as a fun fact. It wasn’t in the book. Izumi heard about it during recess from one of the boys. She was sure he was lying. He was always showing off and making stuff up anyway. She thought he was just teasing her.

In the afternoon, Izumi was surprised at herself for not mentioning a word of it to her mother. She figured it would just make the wrongness that much stronger if she acknowledged it. The two of them roasted food outside on the fire and laughed, and Izumi made herself forget about it. She pushed it deep where it couldn’t ruin her evening, but as soon as her mother fell asleep it came back.

“Zuko, when you return home.... Father will welcome you as a war hero... Trust me, Zuko… Trust me.” Azula whispered in her sleep.

Izumi tried to imagine how possible it was that her mother also knew someone who had the same name as the Fire Lord. Not very, she figured. That’s why, for the first time in a long time, Izumi decided to listen as she clung to her sleeping mother.

“No, please... I’m sorry, Zuko! Don’t it’s not my fault... I had to!” Azula was especially restless that night, Izumi couldn’t even try to fall asleep. Usually, her mother settled in a few hours, but not that time. That’s when a conversation from earlier that day came back to Izumi.

“I heard no one really knows where Princess Azula is now?” a boy from Izumi’s class had asked after the lecture.

“To this day, we don’t know what happened to her after she escaped the Fire Lord. There are about a hundred alleged sightings a year, but none of them have been confirmed yet,” the teacher had answered while wiping the board.

“Miss, is it true that Princess Azula went crazy after losing?” another boy had asked without raising a hand first.

“First of all, we don’t say _crazy_ , Pyong,” the teacher had corrected. “It is, however, true that the Princess suffered from mental illness from a young age. That is confirmed.”

Izumi didn’t yet have a great handle on what _mental illness_ meant, but it made sense that it was someone’s mind making them unwell. And she knew her mother hadn’t been well in a long time. Izumi kept it to herself, nonetheless. She loved her mother, she didn’t care if she was loud or angry or mean in her sleep.

**oooooooooo**

The first time Izumi produced even a spark of blue fire was easily the best moment of her life. She’d been on the far side of the island, dangling her feet off a cliff, exactly like her mother told her she wasn’t allowed to do. It’s not like she intended to disobey her mother, she always tried very hard not to, but she sometimes simply _forgot_ about the danger. It would slip her mind so easily if she was focused on something else, and playing with a little flame in her palm trying to make it more intense proved enough.

Once she saw the spark, however, she sprinted to the other side of the island to find her mother and show her. Azula was proud, even excited, for about three seconds. Then she sat Izumi down for a serious talk.

“Don’t you like it, Mom? I’m sure it’ll get bigger as I practice.”

“Of course, it will. I…” Azula rubbed her temples. “I’m happy that you’re so good at firebending, I am. But what you need to understand is… No one can see you do it. No one but me.”

“But why? Everyone will think it’s so cool…” Izumi understood why her mother didn’t like her dangling off cliffs. She forgot about it, sure, but she understood and agreed it was dangerous. This however… It made no sense. Yet her mother seemed more scared of this than the cliffs.

“No, Izumi…” Azula took a deep and calming breath. “I’m your mother, and I know better about these things. You won’t firebend in front of people anymore, unless your life is at risk. Understand?”

“But—”

“You will listen to me, it’s for your own good. Now, repeat it back to me. What won’t you do?”

“I won’t firebend in front of other people anymore.” Izumi said wistfully. It was— It used to be her favorite thing to do with the other kids in the brief time she got to play with them.

“Good, I’m glad we understand each other.” Azula stood up. “And don’t sulk, I’ll work with you more now. You’ll get your fill of firebending, and then some...”

Izumi made herself smile. She did like that. Firebending with her mother was something she always looked forward to. She was more than happy to do that more. And if her mother really was scared, maybe it was a good idea to not show her fire to anyone else.

**oooooooooo**

“We've done it, Zuko…” Azula smiled in her sleep. “It's taken a hundred years, but the Fire Nation has conquered Ba Sing Se.”

Izumi sat by her on the bed with a notebook in her lap and a small blue flame in her left hand, while her right hurried to jot down everything her mother said. She waited a moment then, checking if her mother had anything else to add, then reached under the bed for her old history textbook.

“Ba Sing Se, Ba Sing Se…” She flipped through the pages, which were full of notes and bookmarks from her _research_. In all her twelve years, Izumi had never gotten her hands on a history book, besides that one. Their house held an impressive collection of books that would put a small city’s library to shame, yet never had Izumi’s mother allowed a book on recent history to cross the threshold. That should’ve been a clue in and of itself.

Izumi was far too old for denial. She traced her finger down the page searching for the words. Yes, it was confirmed. Both Azula and Zuko had been there working together when Ba Sing Se fell. At this point, Izumi had an excess of evidence. She just had no idea what to do with it all.

She’d begun writing down her mother’s midnight mumblings a year ago in an attempt to find a better way of helping her than sleeping by her side. A way of getting to the real issue at the source of the woman’s problems. Then, when she’d managed to separate the emotional apologies and pleas, from the real, useful dream conversations, it became clear what she was actually collecting in her little notebook...

A confession.

Izumi put away the history textbook, then returned to her mother’s side. A small flame allowed her a good look at her mother’s face. It was convulsed as if she was in pain. Small wrinkles marked her forehead and the skin around her eyes, making her look older than she actually was.

Oh, how Izumi wished her mother didn’t have to be in pain every night. She stroked the woman’s hair and slowly let the flame in her hand extinguish.

“Izumi?”

Izumi jumped at the sound of her name. Never, in all the years sleeping next to her mother, had she heard her name being called. Azula never dreamt about her daughter, and Izumi was glad. Those dreams caused nothing, but pain and she wanted no part in them.

“Is everything alright?” Azula’s eyes were open. The dream must’ve been so bad this time, it woke her.

“Mom… Yeah.” Izumi hid the notebook under the covers behind her back.

“You couldn’t sleep?”

Izumi nodded.

“Come here, then.” Azula moved the covers next to her in invitation. “You were always like this, you know… Never a sound sleeper, even as a baby,” she said, pulling Izumi closer as they lay together.

Like any other time, the lie would’ve passed. Azula would fall back asleep in a few minutes and never think twice about it. But Izumi couldn’t let her.

“Mom?” she asked carefully.

“Yes, darling?”

“Are you a princess?”

Azula stiffened instantly but remained silent. The five seconds it took her to come up with something to say were the longest seconds of Izumi’s life.

“Where’d you get that?” Azula feigned a calm voice.

“You talk in your sleep.” It felt like a betrayal to admit it aloud, but now that she’d started this, she had to finish. She’d never before thought of what she’d been doing as an invasion of privacy, but in a sense it was. Izumi knew far more than her mother was ready to share.

“I do?”

“Yes.” A deep breath. “And cry, and scream.”

“How long has this been going on?”

“Since forever…”

“Since forever?”

“For as long as I can remember.” Izumi sighed and turned to her mother. “I wanted to tell you—” She stopped once she felt her mother’s palm on her cheek.

“What do I say?”

“Well, it’s like you’re talking to people mostly… Sometimes it’s your mother, and you fight with her, scream… Other times it’s your father, he makes you cry.” Izumi took a deep breath. “Mostly, it’s your brother, and you’re apologizing for something, he scares you. And on rare occasions, it’s like you’re in the past and you’re reliving something that already happened.”

“I’m sorry you had to listen to that.” Azula placed a kiss on her forehead. “We’ll take care of it. We could sleep at different times.”

“But are you...? Princess Azula?”

“Do you think we’re living as princesses do?” Izumi’s mother smiled in the darkness.

“You described some things like the Day of Black Sun in so much detail… It sounded like you were there. I’ve read up on dreams, and there is little chance your brain could come up with something so similar to the real event.” Those books, about the human mind, were allowed in their home. “And you keep calling your brother Zuko, I just assumed—”

“I am... Her.”

Just like with the evidence, Izumi had no clue as to what she was to do now. Years of wondering and now she knew for sure.

“Does that mean I’m a princess too?”

“You’re my daughter, so yes. Yes, you are.” Azula sat up, then lit a candle on her bedstand with her finger. “Does it anger you?”

“No.” Izumi sat up too, shaking her head. “No, of course not.” She reached for the notebook she’d hidden earlier and handed it to her mother. “I’ve sort of known. For a while.”

Azula took a few silent seconds to flip through the pages and read some of what she’d let her daughter hear.

“Yet you haven’t said a word,” she finally managed to say.

“I’m sorry, I… I should’ve. I just didn’t want to believe—”

“That your mother was a monster,” Azula finished for her.

“No!” Izumi hugged her mother, yet her mother didn’t move to hug her back. She stood motionless, peering down at the scribbles in the notebook. “I just want to know why you haven’t told me. Why are we not talking to the Fire Lord, since he’s your brother? Why are we hiding, even though we’re princesses?”

Finishing her set of questions, Izumi hugged even tighter and finally felt her mother hug back.

“I love you, Izumi. That’s why, I’m going to tell you the truth.”

“That’s all I want.” She pulled back. “Then after tonight we never have to talk about it ever again.”

“I did some bad things while I was a child. You know them, I won’t list them now, but I did it all for my father. When he fell, I pleaded mercy with my brother… I was barely older than you are now.” Tears drained down Azula’s cheeks. “I asked for forgiveness, I wanted us to be a family, but he said he would kill me then, next time we see each other.”

“Why?” Izumi had no siblings, and had yet to hear of a sibling relationship growing that bad.

“He sees me as competition for the throne, even though I don’t want it. He doesn’t know about you, thank the Spirits… And he must never find out.” Azula reached out and cupped Izumi’s face in her hands. “Do you understand?”

“Yes, Mom…” Izumi nodded. “But…”

“What?”

“The books paint him as a good man. A forgiving man. He put the Fire Nation on a better path.”

“He’s Fire Lord, Izumi. They write the books as he commands.” Azula wiped tears from her face. “Deep down, he’s the same as my father. Trust me, trust your mother… We’re only safe as long as we are hidden from him. That’s why we must stay here and stay together. Tell me you understand.”

“I understand, Mom.”

Izumi did understand. Everything that was happening to her mother, all the pain, the regret, it was her brother’s fault. It all made sense now! She was always apologizing to him in her dreams, reliving the times of her life when they were on the same side…

“You’re afraid of him,” Izumi concluded.

“Not for myself, darling. Only for you… If he got to you somehow, I—”

“That’s not going to happen. He won’t get either of us,” Izumi assured her mother, then left the bed.

“Where’re you going?”

“To train. Come with me.”

“In the middle of the night?” Azula asked, but got up too.

“So that we’re ready if he ever finds us.”

A new feeling overtook Izumi in that moment. Something she’d only dabbled in before. Rage. A deep and cold rage wrapped itself around Izumi’s heart and squeezed for her to do something. Anything at all! She’d never felt anything but sad, seeing her mother’s suffering. Now it felt different. Something had to change, Izumi didn’t know what or how, but she did know she wanted to be ready for when she did.

“He won’t find us, Izumi…” Her mother walked to her and grasped her shoulders. “I’ll protect you, you don’t have to worry. I wasn’t trying to scare you.”

“I’m not scared.”

Neither of them said anything else as they walked to the beach and started sparring. Izumi’s fire burned stronger than other days and this filled her with mixed emotions. Did one really have to be a tortured and lost soul to be on par with the best firebenders in the world?

“As long as we’re talking… There is something else I wanted to ask you, Mom,” Izumi said, signaling a break.

Azula nodded and sat down on the sand. Izumi joined her.

“Who’s my father?”

“It took you long enough…”

“I didn’t want to make you mad.”

“You could never, darling.” Azula leaned over and kissed her daughter on the top of the head. “There isn’t much to tell… We met at a party. I didn’t know him that well.”

“You were a princess… Was he a noble?”

“No. He was…” Azula appeared lost in her memories for a while. “A party planner.”

“That’s a job?” Izumi smiled despite herself. Despite everything pressing down on her chest.

“Yes. He… He wasn’t very good at it.”

“What happened to him?”

“He died. Agni Kai.”

Izumi played with the sand. She didn’t know what she’d expected… Her mother’s life was nothing but tragedy, anyway.

“I’m sorry, I can’t offer more,” Azula added.

“I don’t need more.” Izumi put a hand on her mother’s shoulder, then stood up and wiped the sand from her trousers. “I have everything I need right here.”

**oooooooooo**

After that night’s conversation, Azula’s nightmares got worse. She’d have them for longer, scream louder, kick and thrash about in her sleep until she hurt herself. Just having Izumi near her didn’t do it anymore, instead they’d decided to tie Azula down every night for her own safety. Izumi did it every afternoon without objection, but she could see that having her movement constricted brought back something bad for her mother. She didn’t dare ask what, but it was clear the nightmares were even more violent after they’d started using the ropes.

Izumi also feared they soon might not be enough. In her opinion it was only a matter of time before her mother started firebending in her sleep. They’d need chains, and even then, the whole bed could catch fire. Izumi didn’t like thinking about it, but she knew she’d soon be asked to chain her mother up outside to sleep. She wasn’t sure if she could do it. Even watching her mother struggle against ropes made her feel like she was burning up from the inside out.

The sun was about an hour from setting and that meant it was her mother’s time to sleep soon. Izumi was on the beach outside, training. It felt like the only thing she did recently. Her friends were packing for one of their end-of-the-week trips right in that moment somewhere on another island. They were taking their raft down the big waterfall this time. They’d invited her, like they always did but she’d refused again. Her mother assured her they’d stop asking eventually, but Izumi didn’t want them to. Not really. It was enough that her mother had pulled her from school after she’d found out the truth. Izumi was fourteen and had never spent a night away from this island. She desperately wanted to say yes. She wanted to show someone how good at firebending she was getting. Confide in someone about her mother. Go on a real date.

But she couldn’t. She would never be able to do any of those things, and it was all the Fire Lord’s fault.

“Are you up for fighting your old mom?”

“Always.” Izumi turned to face her mother, and jumped into a fire kick aimed at the woman’s head. Azula dodged with ease and returned fire. The whole fight Izumi felt like she was just there, about to best her mother, but she’d felt like that for years. It was Azula’s specialty, making Izumi think she was catching up to her, only to rise to the challenge every time. This was why Izumi never knew how good her mother really was, and she probably never would.

She also never had to be afraid of hurting her mother because the woman had a seemingly endless stream of tricks up her sleeve.

“Getting tired, Mom?” Izumi asked smugly after dodging a particularly smart attack.

“You wish…” Azula stood still for a few seconds, panting, then charged again.

After a few minutes, Izumi had an idea. Chi-blocking. It was a new thing her mother had taught her recently. She’d never actually tried it before, only learned the technique for self-defense, but seeing how she was about to lose to her mother, it felt like the right time. Izumi dodged a blow, then struck the specific place on her mother’s arm, then her back.

Azula went down onto the sand. Went down and screamed like she was being burned alive.

“Mom? Mom, I didn’t mean to, I…” Izumi jumped immediately to help her mother up, but her limbs just hung at her side uselessly. “Mom, I’m sorry. Mom!”

Azula was shaking her head violently, screaming with tears running down her face all while mumbling about betrayal. Izumi didn’t know what else to do, so she carried her to bed. On the way there, Azula went completely still and quiet. It somehow scared Izumi more.

By the time she brought her a glass of water, it seemed as if Azula was back to her old self.

“Izumi?” Azula took the water and drank.

“Yes, Mom?”

“Never do that again.”

“I won’t. I don’t know what came over me, I… I’m so sorry, I didn’t know it would do that.”

Azula said nothing, only reached out with a trembling hand for her daughter’s face. Izumi had to lean forward for her mother to give her a kiss on the forehead. It amazed her how her mother could be so strong one moment, then so incredibly weak the next. Izumi tied her up for sleep, then went outside to continue training.

Azula mainly taught her defensive moves. Izumi was supposed to dodge or deflect her mother’s attacks as they fought. Azula always said there was no need for Izumi to ever start conflicts or stick around long enough to finish them. Izumi, however, disagreed. She didn’t want to upset her mother, though. That’s why she acted her part during the day. She went through all the defensive forms her mother chose for her, over and over and over to perfection. Then at night, while her mother was asleep, Izumi would think back to the moves Azula made while they fought. Attacks forms. And she would go over them twice as diligently as the defensive ones.

Izumi didn’t _want_ to hurt anyone, yet sometimes, regrettably, offense was the best defense. And this wasn’t fair. None of it was remotely fair.

Izumi broke down halfway into her exercise and sobbed into the sand.

**oooooooooo**

Izumi was fifteen and felt more ready than ever.

She waited patiently for hours as her mother made it through her nightmare phase of the night. Usually, Izumi just spent time outside, trying not to think about it, but that night she made herself watch closely. She watched as her mother bruised her wrists struggling against the ropes, watched as she bit into her lower lip enough to draw blood, and listened as she screamed loud enough to lose her voice. Izumi needed this if she was really about to go.

Once her mother finally settled down, Izumi cut her ropes loose, then, careful not to wake her, placed a kiss on her head.

“I love you, Mom. I’ll make it all better.”

On her way out, Izumi grabbed the packed bag from under her bed and set off on the boat. She’d left a note with a comforting lie for her mother, but doubted she’d believe it for long. She tried not thinking about what this would do to her mother. It would be only a week, at most. She was doing this _for_ her. So she could finally sleep again. So they could be a normal family.

Izumi took a deep breath once she was clear of their island and pulled out the map. She didn’t really need it anyway. She knew which way the main island was, and it’s not like anyone could miss the royal palace.

**oooooooooo**

Izumi had thought that stalking people through a large city would feel more wrong to her. The city part ended up making her more uneasy than the stalking part.

Finding royal guards wasn’t hard at all. Izumi happened upon a whole tavern filled with them on her first night in Capital City. Then it was just a matter of getting one or two of them alone. She used the night to catch up on the lost sleep, then watched the tavern the whole next day. Eventually, a pair of guards made their way into the tavern. A young girl and a middle-aged man.

Izumi waited for them to leave, then called for help in an alley close by. There is no better advantage than being underestimated. She made quick work of them. No one was fighting to kill on either side, but it amazed Izumi how easy crossing that line would’ve been to her.

She had the guards tied up and gagged in no time, luckily, she at least had practice at that. Those two weren’t going anywhere if even Azula couldn’t get out when Izumi tied her down. The next part was the password. It was something Izumi heard her mother mention in her sleep, then asked for an explanation later. You had to give it at every checkpoint in the palace. It was to prevent people with intentions just like Izumi’s from getting too close to the Fire Lord.

She couldn’t just ask the guards, they would lie. She had no way of verifying the information until she was already at the palace. They probably even had a special password to signal danger immediately. Luckily, Azula had complained to her about a very nasty habit a few of the guards she’d known had. The passwords changed often, too often for them to remember, so they would just write each password down on the edge of their sleeves. When the uniform was washed the words would fade, making room for new ones.

This is where Izumi needed a little luck. She checked the girl’s sleeves. Pristine. Nothing had ever been written there. She held her breath. Please… The man’s left sleeve had a few phrases written down, she picked the one that looked most recent. _Red birds against a red sky_... That would have to work.

The woman protested profusely while Izumi stripped her. That part might have felt most wrong of all. She decided to give the girl her clothes, it seemed fair since she was taking the girl’s guard uniform. It fit her perfectly, just as planned.

As she sheathed the guard’s sword, her thoughts went to her mother. Was she alright? She must have read the letter by then. Had she believed it? Was she panicking? Maybe looking for her?

Izumi pushed those thoughts aside and drew the sword back out. With only a short moment’s hesitation, she used it to cut off her hair at the shoulder. All guards wore top-knots, so she would too. The weapon felt wrong to her once she returned it to her hip. It made sense since she’d never needed those things. It was a disguise even now. A prop. She was the weapon.

Before leaving for the palace, she reassured the two guards she’d come back for them but was pretty sure they didn’t believe her.

**oooooooooo**

The first unwanted questions came at the gate already.

“Where’s your partner?” the woman there asked. “Isn’t that Iseul’s armor?”

Izumi hated that her first idea upon hearing that was just to attack the woman. This is not who she wanted to be going forward. This was a one time thing, and all her aggression had to be reserved for the Fire Lord.

“Yeah, she… She’s sick.”

“I’m pretty sure I saw her this morning. What are you trying to pull?” The woman eyed her suspiciously. “Have I seen you around here before?”

“Of course, Aunt Yong.” Izumi acted offended. The woman’s name was on a plate at her desk.

“Password?”

“Red birds against a red sky.”

The woman eyed her carefully, then checked a paper on her desk.

“Iseul was sick on her break and went home. She asked me to cover. She did it for me once...” Izumi shrugged. “We didn’t think it’d be such a big deal.”

“Then where’s Hyun? You can’t be going around without a partner.”

“Oh, I tried to make him come with me. He’s…” Izumi made a gesture of drinking out of a bottle. “Under the weather.”

“Hyun? I’ve never seen the man touch the stuff.”

“It must be the stress…” Izumi said, starting to feel some stress of her own. She didn’t want to hurt this little old lady at the gate. But she was beginning to realize she might not have the luxury of choice going forward.

“What stress? He _just_ came back from vacation.”

“Well, what’s more stressful than family…?” Izumi gave an innocent smile, all the while preparing to strike.

Then the woman laughed wholeheartedly. “Oh, you’re alright… Go on in,...”

“Ming.”

“Go on in, Ming. Since you don’t have a partner today, how about something easy? The kitchens for you.”

“Sounds good.”

Izumi did not go to the kitchens. Lying to that woman had given her a weird sort of confidence. It was one thing hearing her mother explain that if you wore the right outfit you could get away with anything. It was another thing entirely to see it at work.

“What are you doing here?” one of the guards in front of the Fire Lord’s chambers asked. They were both just a few years older than she was, and if she was being honest, unusually handsome.

“I’m to relieve you. You’re needed down in the kitchens,” Izumi lied.

“Why are you alone?” the cuter one asked.

“My partner’s joining me in a minute… The old man’s taking a leak for the fiftieth time today…” She rolled her eyes and they both snickered at that.

“We didn’t hear anything about a transfer.”

“Aunt Yong just told me.”

“ _Aunt_ Yong? You must be new.” He reluctantly started leaving, and his friend followed. “Good luck, New Girl.”

“Thanks, I need it,” she murmured to herself after they were gone.

A deep breath and she opened the door.

Inside, she found the Fire Lord reading through some papers at a desk. He turned to her immediately, giving her a good look at his infamous scar and the smiling, amiable face that bore it. The paintings really didn’t do him justice, they made him out to be this threatening symbol of power, yet the man before her seemed ordinary. Like the sort of man Izumi might meet on her way home from school, and wave to every day.

“Is there something you wanted to say?” The Fire Lord asked, visibly picking up on something being wrong. _Get it together, Izumi_.

“Yes, Sir.” Izumi felt like she was already blowing this. “Per new regulations, I have to hold unbroken visual contact with you for as long as there is an incident happening at the palace.”

“There’s an incident?” He stood up, removing his reading glasses. Izumi studied his face for similarities with her mother.

“A small kerfuffle in the kitchens,” she lied. “Two guards got into it about someone cheating at cards, I believe.”

“That happens.” He relaxed and walked to look through the window on the opposite side of the room. “New protocol you say?” He turned to her briefly and she nodded. “That has to be Mai’s doing… I don’t know why I don’t just end the charade and make her my Chief of Security?”

“She would rise to the occasion, I believe, Sir.”

“Well, as long as you’re here, can I offer you some tea?” The Fire Lord moved to a cabinet in the corner, then leaned down and took out an antique looking tea set and dried leaves.

“No, thank you, Sir.”

“Are you sure? It’s white dragon bush tea. Some call it the most delicious tea in the world.” He showed off the bag holding the leaves, which had an embroidered white dragon on it.

“Not a tea person, Sir.”

He smiled at her after hearing that. “Neither was I at your age… You’ll grow into it.”

After saying that, the Fire Lord turned around, and started brewing the tea, giving her the perfect opportunity to strike while he wasn’t looking. Izumi took only a second to decide on her approach. It had to be lightning. No matter what despicable things she’d heard about this man, she couldn’t deny he seemed quite friendly in person. Izumi didn’t think of herself as the kind of person who would want someone to suffer, anyway. The Fire Lord had to die so her mother could finally live in peace. It didn’t have to be torture. She just needed him gone.

Izumi took a deep breath, then made the motion slowly, carefully, as sparks started playing around her fingers. She aimed the lightning blast right at the center of the Fire Lord’s back, but at the last moment the man moved and dodged it by pure luck. It still threw him back, and he slammed against the adjacent wall, which slowed his reaction down significantly, giving Izumi a few seconds advantage.

Too bad she was in shock. She’d never before fired lightning indoors. Her ears were ringing, and the sheer panic of realizing how much noise she’d just made left her unable to move. She'd gotten a good look at the number of guards the palace had on her way up. It was impressive, and she’d just signaled all of them to drop whatever they were doing and rush over here.

She was going to die. The thought appeared out of nowhere, sharp as a razor, cutting through the panic. She was going to die, and the Fire Lord wasn’t even dead.

This got her moving. Fire Lord Zuko was already on his feet and sending a fire stream her way when she snapped back to reality. Whatever he threw her way, she returned threefold. His blasts were bigger, but hers were quicker and more precise. Her blue fire gave him some pause at first, another advantage she successfully exploited.

Then the door swung open and a woman ran inside. Izumi recognized her immediately as the Fire Lord’s wife, Mai. Another person to betray her mother all those years ago. How fitting for the two traitors to die together…

The woman didn’t say a word, only swung her arm Izumi’s way and sent five tiny daggers flying towards her. Izumi mimicked the woman’s movement like a mirror, her hand leaving a trail of blue fire that melted the knives before they could find their target.

“Zuko!” the woman called, her eyes fixed on Izumi with apparent surprise.

“I see it!” he yelled back, sending another blast at his would-be assassin.

Most of the room was on fire at that point, and Izumi suddenly became aware both of the exits, the door and the window, were blocked by her two opponents. They’d done this before.

“Surrender peacefully,” Zuko started, pulling Izumi’s attention. “And you will not be harmed.”

“No!” She barely had time to finish the word, before Mai was on her, trying to chi-block her. A blast of fire forced her back, but left Izumi with her back to the wall. With all her attention focused on the woman, Zuko managed to get close enough so that his next attack caught a part of Izumi’s shoulder.

Izumi screamed, and moved away to an even worse position. She didn’t have time to spare more than a glance at her stolen uniform, which was burned away at the shoulder, revealing a nasty burn. She clutched her arm and moved just in time to dodge a swarm of knives.

She was about to lose. She was about to die… And her mother would never forgive herself.

No! She had to try!

“You have nowhere to run!” Mai yelled.

“That’s okay.” Izumi fell to her knees. “I’m right where I want to be.”

She took a deep breath again, and suddenly all the flames in the room changed color to blue as they raged and spread upwards, overtaking the ceiling. It felt incredible, controlling all that power at once. Izumi made the flames dance, and slowly pushed the two rulers together. No more ambush, no more surprises, she had them exactly where she wanted them.

They were almost completely still as Izumi stood up and walked to them slowly. The fear on their faces was clear now that she was so close. It was nothing… Nothing compared to the fears her mother had to face in her dreams every night! This was mercy.

Mai decided to attempt a last desperate attack, but Izumi pushed her back with a fire blast.

“Why?! Why are you doing this?!” Zuko asked, while looking back at Mai, visibly relieved she appeared to be mostly unharmed.

“For my mother.” Izumi put out her fist in preparation for one last attack.

“Who’s your mother?”

“Your sister.” She needed him to know. One last revelation before he died.

Zuko’s eyes went wide as the news settled in. Izumi drew even closer to him, clutching her arm again since her shoulder hurt no less than when the wound was first made.

“Azula?” Zuko put out a hand to protect his face, even though it would do him little good if Izumi decided to send her fire at him from this distance. “Azula has a daughter?”

“How…” Mai tried to speak from where she landed, but a cough interrupted her. “How old are you?”

“What does it matter?!” Izumi knew she just had to make the decision and do it, or else they would drag this out for as long as it took their guards to come help them. “You’re the reason she has to live in hiding! The reason I had to live in hiding, and there have to be consequences!”

“Are you fifteen?” Mai asked, ignoring everything Izumi just said. As far as Izumi’s peripheral vision could tell her, the woman was back on her feet, barely.

How did they know? Azula had sworn her brother never found out about Izumi. They had no way of knowing… But they were rich, powerful, they could’ve found a way. No matter how careful her mother was. This is why she’d been scared of these people for so long. This is why she couldn’t sleep, knowing they were out there, scheming.

Izumi raised her healthy arm again, and made a fist pointed at the Fire Lord. She met his eyes. He didn’t seem to be afraid anymore, since he was lowering his hand and gaping at her like he could recognize her somehow. It felt uncomfortable for some reason, even though the fact that her threat wasn’t being taken seriously should’ve infuriated her.

The doors swung open then again and there were guards on the other side. At least a dozen. This upset Izumi and the fire reflected that by raging again.

“No, stay back!” Zuko was waving them away. “Do not hurt her! Everything is under control!”

“But, Sir…”

“Leave us be! That is an order!”

The guards were visibly uncomfortable with the command, but carried it out nonetheless. They pulled back and closed the doors, but probably remained just outside awaiting a new order. Well, that eliminated that exit altogether. If Izumi wanted to flee this with her head still attached, she’d have to use the window.

“Please listen to me for three minutes, and then you can do with me as you please,” Zuko said softly. Mai was completely still and silent a few steps away.

Izumi considered it for a moment, but her curiosity prevailed. She nodded and lowered her hand, wincing at the pain the movement awoke.

“Fifteen years ago, a baby girl was abducted from the palace. Just a few rooms that way…” He pointed, tears filling his eyes, making him blink them away. “Our daughter…” His voice cracked. “We searched and searched, but… She was just gone.”

He paused then, giving her time to deny the implication. To say she was eighteen, sixteen, thirteen… But she couldn’t. Izumi looked to Mai too, but she was still motionless, staring at her with eyes begging for her to deny it. This was madness…

It was a lie to distract her. It had to be… There was no way her mother would lie to her. There was no reason to… Her mother wasn’t a kidnapper, her mother was kind and loving and… _Unhinged_.

“You’re not Azula’s daughter,” Zuko continued. “You’re ours. Now, I don’t know what she’s told you, about us, about this, about everything… But I think it’s now obvious she hasn’t told you the truth.”

“Liar,” Izumi whispered as her mind ran wild considering this new reality she’d found herself in. Her mother did lie an abnormal amount… But it was to protect Izumi, to unburden her, to keep her a carefree child for longer, to keep… To keep her in the dark, to keep her compliant, to keep her isolated there doing exactly what Azula wanted!

The blue flames around the room pulsed higher and higher. “Liar!” She wasn’t sure at that point if she was speaking about her mother or the Fire Lord.

“I have no way to prove it, even to myself, but if there’s even a slight chance, I won’t lift a finger to stop you.”

It was too much to be a coincidence. Why did these people need to look so genuine?

Zuko was the one who watched silently now as Mai walked to Izumi. With every step she took the older woman shed weapons from her sleeves, then from her belt. Knives and arrows fell unceremoniously to the floor leaving a trail after her. Despite the flames still raging around them, Mai showed no fear when she finally reached out and cupped Izumi’s cheek.

As she made eye contact there was no doubt in Izumi’s mind, this woman believed she was her mother with her whole heart. Izumi relaxing meant that the fire could cool down to orange, then go completely out.

“Is it her?” Zuko asked.

“I don’t know.” Mai used her other hand to move strands of hair from Izumi’s forehead. She hadn’t even noticed her top-knot fall almost completely apart. “Ursa was only three months old when she was taken.”

“Ursa?” Izumi asked.

“It was our daughter’s name,” Zuko explained. “Your name.”

“My name is Izumi.”

“Nice to meet you, Izumi.” Zuko took a few steps to be closer to them, then smiled through the sweat and the soot on his face. “Welcome home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a bit longer, but I wanted to keep the theme of one assassination attempt per chapter. I hope the title makes more sense now… You get it, cause they both changed their minds before finishing the job? I know, I can’t think of titles to save my freaking life.
> 
> Anyway, here we see that kidnapping a child and lying to them for years isn’t the recipe to the perfect family life. Shocking, I know…
> 
> Just to be completely clear, Azula lied to Izumi when she said Zuko threatened her. She was afraid of him because he’d want his daughter back, nothing more. Just straight up lying and covering her ass.
> 
> I took some liberties with how dreams work… I figured guilt + trauma. Azula would remember the dreams in the morning but ignore them and carry on, not knowing she acted them out in her sleep.
> 
> And yes, I had to send Izumi to kill Zuko, we stan ladies with agency. Also, I probably needed to make sneaking into the palace a bit harder to accomplish, but I just didn’t have the strength. Do me a favor and imagine it was incredibly intricate. Thanks.


	3. The Mother Who Could Never Forget

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s time. The last chapter, the longest chapter, here we go…
> 
> I couldn’t settle on a single character’s perspective this time around, there’s too many things that need mentioning before this ends.
> 
> WARNING: mention/threat of suicide (nothing graphic, just people talking, put trying to be safe)

Azula slept in late, since there was no one there to wake her. She read Izumi’s letter as soon as she woke, and after that, the next two days were a complete blur to her.

The letter stated that Izumi was on a trip with her friends, and that she'd be back in a week. However, she’d made the mistake of mentioning people by name in the text, which meant Azula now had something to go on. She didn’t remember quite how she tracked the teens down, but the next thing she did remember was standing over them while they were struggling against their restraints. It was nighttime again.

“We don’t know! We haven't seen her!” a girl swore on her life, while one of the boys was crying into his gag. “We don’t even know her that well!”

“Don’t lie to me!” Azula screamed.

“We honestly don’t know!” Another boy joined in.

After that, the first thing she could remember was coming into Capital City the next morning on a boat. It was the first time in fifteen years she was back, and as the memories of last time overtook her, it all became a blur again.

**oooooooooo**

Caught up in everything, Izumi had almost forgotten she was hurt. The pain from the burn wasn’t even a distraction compared to the pain she felt upon learning she might’ve been living a lie.

“Someone will need to take a look at that.” Mai reached for her shoulder, but Izumi stepped back on instinct. It was clear on the woman’s face that this hurt her, but didn’t shock her. This woman… Possibly her mother.

“It hurts,” Izumi tried to justify her action, but then remembered she really shouldn’t have to. These people were strangers and until a few seconds ago, actively trying to kill her. _In self-defense, though…_

“I burned you…” Zuko looked down and clasped a hand over his mouth. While she’d taken only one step away, he took several now. “I burned my own daughter. I…” The words made him retch.

Mai rushed to his side at that, taking his face into her hands so he’d look at her.

“Zuko, we got her back,” she said slowly, letting each word sink in. “Ursa’s back, and here. We can protect her now.”

Why did they have to be so sure she was their Ursa? It could all still be a big coincidence. She still hadn’t heard her mother’s side of the story. They should’ve remembered that too, yet Izumi felt she would be evil to interrupt their moment of intimacy. She was somewhat transfixed by it, if she was being honest. She’d never had _parents_ before, mom _and_ dad, not even potential ones. It had always been her and her mom, alone. They loved each other, sure, but they loved _only_ each other.

“It’s Izumi, not Ursa,” she spoke, finally. It came off cold.

“Of course.” Zuko turned to look at her, a smile back on his face as he held onto Mai still. “And, Izumi, we want to hear everything.” His eyes darted to where she was clutching her arm in pain. “I’m more sorry about that than I ever was about anything in my life.”

“I tried to kill you…” It was supposed to assuage his guilt, but it felt like the wrong thing to say once it came out. Izumi was sure there was no right thing to say in this situation.

She suddenly missed her mom again. The safety of their island, the comfort of the woman’s embrace...

“That doesn’t matter now,” Zuko said. “Already forgotten. We’ll fix the room…” He looked like he wanted to say something more but didn’t. Actually, he looked like he had several more things he wanted to say, yet couldn’t decide on one, so he gave up altogether.

“We’ll go somewhere else to talk,” Mai started. “But first we’ll call a physician for your arm. There’s no rush.”

“I’m not staying.” Izumi had thought that was implied. “I have to go back to my mom, talk to her about this. Get an explanation.”

“You don’t have to. You’re safe here, Izumi.” Mai took a few steps to her again. “She can’t hurt you, not ever again. Do you understand?”

“I don’t think _you_ understand…” She took another few steps back, coming close to a scorched wall that was still smoking. “She never hurt me. She would never… You talk about her like she’s kept me in a closet all these years or something…”

“She sent you to kill me!” Zuko looked like he regretted raising his voice immediately.

“She didn’t send me. She doesn’t even know I’m here.” Izumi paused. “I’m telling you, she loves me, there has to be some mistake. Why would she take your baby, and not ask for a ransom? It doesn’t make sense to keep me and raise me. I’m sorry that happened to you, to my cousin Ursa, but Azula is my mother.”

Mai twitched at those words like she’d just been slapped. Izumi couldn’t even imagine the pain they must feel to this day over losing a child, but she couldn’t help them. Her mother, her _real_ mother, would need her back soon.

“My sister’s insane, Izumi.” Zuko began, with eyes full of sorrow. “She’s been insane for decades. I doubt even she knows why she does anything she does… Even if you could get her to tell the truth, she might not know what’s real anymore. You’ve lived with her all this time, you must have seen it...”

This placed doubt back into Izumi’s mind. She had indeed seen it, time after time. In little things… She’d never known how to call it, what to do about it, but it was inevitably there. Even if it was true that Azula was not always stable, it in no way meant that she kidnapped babies from their cribs in the dead of night.

What an easy lie it would be, blaming a sick woman for a crime she didn’t have to remember committing to be guilty of… Izumi suddenly felt a strange urge to go home and protect her mother. Her _sick_ mother…

However, just a few seconds later it became clear that would no longer be possible, as a stream of blue fire broke through the only window in the room. The flames weren’t large enough to reach the Fire Lord and his wife, but he jumped to shield her from it anyway. Then, before the flames even died down, Azula jumped in.

She looked awful. Delirious and disheveled, she fixed her eyes on her brother and staggered in his direction. Izumi had thought everything that could burn in the room had already turned to ash a while ago, but fire followed behind her mother like a shadow, all the while burning everything in its way.

“Where is she, brother?” she asked with surprising clarity that clashed with her disturbing appearance.

“Mom?” Izumi asked, and the woman stopped cold.

“Izumi?” She turned, forgetting her murderous intent and running to embrace her daughter. “You had me worried to death and back with this stunt.” She’d obviously noticed Zuko and Mai getting closer, so she released Izumi out of the hug to wave a hand and separate herself and her daughter from them with a wall of blue fire. “Never, ever, do that again. Now, let’s go home.” She took Izumi’s hand and tried to pull the girl after her, towards the window.

“Wait.” Izumi planted her feet. “Can I just ask you one thing, and then we’ll go?”

“Izumi, we don’t have time—”

“Are you my mother?”

It took the woman just slightly too long to answer. “Of course, I am. What’s this nonsense now?”

“I… Did you… Did you give birth to me?”

Azula stopped pulling on her hand. “Yes, of course.”

“Are you lying?”

“You’re my daughter.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“You’re _my_ daughter!” Tears ran freely down Azula’s cheeks. She was losing focus, her breaths growing shallow, and without her knowledge the fire separating her and Izumi from the rest of the room was slowly going out.

“I don’t believe it…” Izumi pulled her hand out of the woman’s grasp. She looked to where the fire died out, revealing the Fire Lord and his wife, surrounded by palace guards.

“It’s these people, they’re trying to turn you against me... Just come home with me, darling, I promise it will all make sense… And we’ll be happy, just like we once were…” In that moment, two guards grabbed Azula’s hands, trying to restrain her. “Let go of me! Get off! Izumi!”

“You’re not taking her again, Azula!” Zuko yelled while ordering his men into position.

Azula sent fire right into the face of one of the guards, making him let go. Now that she had a free hand, Izumi knew what was next. She saw sparks start collecting around her mother’s fingers and knew who’d be the likely target. One of her parents. Her _real_ parents.

“Mom!” Izumi jumped and grasped Azula’s free hand. The sparks died instantly, and the woman looked at her daughter (her prisoner) with such glee it confused Izumi all over again.

“Don’t do this. Please. For me,” Izumi begged.

“I won’t have to if you come with me.”

“How can I, if you still won’t tell me who I am?!”

This shocked Azula. Izumi didn’t think she’d ever yelled at her mother before. It was because she’d been raised to be respectful and polite, that’s what she told herself, but it wasn’t true. It was because she’d thought her mother fragile and made it her life’s mission to keep her in one piece.

“Who you are? You’re my daughter. No matter how we were brought together, you’ll always be my daughter… I love you, Izumi.”

“If you really do, then tell me how we were brought together. Now. I have to know.” While saying those last few words, Izumi’s eyes flew to where the Fire Lord and his wife were standing in the background, watching with dread in their eyes.

“I don’t want to.” More tears streamed down Azula’s face as Izumi continued to stare her down.

“I took you from them.” Azula admitted finally, then slumped so the guards had to hold her up.

Izumi felt as if she was far away from it all. She could barely hear what happened next. Her mother… Her _aunt_ lost control. Men and women had to hold her down and restrain her with straps as she was kicking about and not making any sense. She talked to Izumi at first, but Izumi could barely hear that something was being said. Then Azula started talking to no one at all. It looked like she was having one of her nightmares, only she was wide awake.

The guards dragged her away slowly and soon it was just Izumi in the scorched room with the Fire Lord and his wife. Her mom and dad. She hadn’t even noticed she’d been crying the entire time.

“Don’t let them hurt her,” Izumi said through the tears.

“Of course not.” Zuko said, then carefully walked to her and put his arms around her, mindful of her injury. Mai joined the hug. The Fire Lord cried together with his lost daughter, but his wife didn’t.

Izumi felt like she was trapped in one of Azula’s nightmares.

**oooooooooo**

The next time Izumi saw her kidnapper was the next morning. She did not yet know the Fire Lord very well, or at all, but she was still relieved when he insisted on accompanying her on her visit to Azula. Izumi had no idea what was waiting for her there, and Zuko was happy to just stand next to her in silence in front of the door until she was ready. She was still getting used to the idea of actually having a father, she couldn’t even call him that in her mind, but she at least knew now that every word Azula had told her about this man was wrong.

The guards had warned Izumi that Azula was in no state to receive visitors before they left, and this made her pause again.

“I’ll be right at the door if you need me,” Zuko said, still waiting for her to make the first move towards opening the door. And after a deep and calming breath she did.

Her aunt had been isolated in a windowless room for the night. Opening the door now, Izumi let the light from the hallway inside, illuminating all the damage Azula had done over the course of the last half a day. The wallpaper was all but gone, burned off or scratched off and the carpet wasn’t any better. Izumi’s eyes finally landed on Azula sitting in the corner of the room on the floor, shaking.

Guilt immediately flooded Izumi and she rushed to her mother, to… To her aunt, whatever she was to her, this woman had raised her, and she deserved better. Better than this living nightmare.

“Mom!” It just slipped out, but Izumi didn’t have time to look back and check on Zuko’s reaction to it. She was already at Azula’s side, touching her arm lightly. “Didn’t you get any sleep?”

“I couldn’t.” Azula’s mind appeared to focus the second she heard Izumi call to her. She once again appeared healthy and together. “I couldn’t sleep not knowing if I’ll ever see you again...” A sob interrupted her.

“I’m here. I’m doing just fine.” Izumi tried to take the woman’s hand then, but found it clutching some of her hair. Azula had probably pulled it out during her fit last night.

“You’ll be fine too, you’ll see.” Izumi took the strands of hair from her, then clasped her hand. “Would you sit with me, so we can talk?” she offered and Azula nodded carefully.

As she was helping her aunt across the room, Izumi saw Zuko at the door, pulsing with anger. His eyes were fixed on Azula and she could see his hand clenched into a fist literally trembling, but he remained quiet. He really was there for Izumi, to make sure she was alright.

“I must say I’m surprised,” Azula said as Izumi helped her down into a chair. The woman wasn’t really hurt, but rather weak from spirits-know how many days without sleep or rest. “I didn’t expect you’d want to see me again.”

Izumi saw Zuko twitch and look away as she sat down opposite her aunt. She’d positioned herself this way precisely so she could watch Zuko react, without really knowing why. Maybe, deep down, Izumi still hoped this would all turn out to be a lie and she could go back to living with her mother on the island like nothing had ever happened. Maybe she still couldn’t shake all those lies Azula had told her about the Fire Lord, so without a reason she still found herself distrusting him. It didn’t really matter.

“Listen, M—” Izumi couldn’t help herself, calling this woman anything but _Mom_ to her face felt wrong, dishonest and disrespectful. “Listen… We…” Izumi gestured to Zuko with her head. “We came to an agreement on—”

“Where are you sending me?”

“Nowhere.”

A silent few seconds that felt like an eternity.

“Oh.” Azula swallowed hard, then squeezed her eyes to stop the tears from escaping. “It’s that kind of goodbye?”

Izumi didn’t get it at first. Until she did.

“No! No, we’re not executing you… That was never even an option.” Izumi spared a glance to the door and found her father’s expression softening. The regret on his face was more striking than the scar.

“Then what?” Azula smiled in relief.

“You’ll stay here. You’ll be watched. My—” She should’ve said _father_ but couldn’t bring herself. “Your brother arranged for a doctor to come to you. She’s the best there is for this kind of problem. She’ll help you heal, get better and be yourself again. Think about it, you’ll be able to sleep peacefully…”

“There won’t be any _getting better_ for me if I can’t see you anymore, Izumi. Without you, I… I have no reason to get better. You’re my life. If I can’t see you ever again, it’s better if I just end my own misery—”

“You can’t say something like that to a child, you psycho!” Zuko was halfway across the room before he managed to stop screaming. “Apologies.” He said through his teeth, trying to be calm but desperately failing. “Izumi,” He turned to her. “You owe her nothing. Nothing that’s happening now is your fault. If you would just leave, I’d deal with her. I promise no harm will come to her, self-inflicted or otherwise.”

“Father of the year, isn’t he just?” Azula sneered, making Zuko clench his fists in a matter that looked painful. This time, however, he managed to keep any comments to himself.

“Actually, I think you should be the one to step out.” Izumi stood up, grabbing Zuko’s attention.

“But she—”

“She’s only doing this to get a reaction out of you, she wouldn’t be like that if it’s just us.”

“I can’t leave you with her.” Zuko glanced at his sister briefly. “Who knows what she’ll do…”

“I’ll just tell her what we discussed. I can do this.”

Izumi hadn’t expected it to work, but to her surprise Zuko nodded, then walked out of the room not sparing Azula another glance.

“I’ll be just outside the door if you need me,” he said before closing them.

“Finally...” Azula rolled her eyes.

“That wasn’t very nice.”

This made Azula laugh, but not in her usual manner. It wasn’t her mother’s heartfelt chuckle she’d grown to love over the years. It was cruel in a way.

“Oh, darling, don’t mind me. You’ve played this perfectly. He listens to you now.” Azula smiled again, this time in her normal way. “You can have his throne. You can have his army. You could have him set us free. Whatever you want… And I’m ready for whatever you have planned.”

“We’re staying here.” Izumi tried to sound firm, as it was apparently not getting through. “Just as I’ve told you. There’s a doctor coming for you. And I’ll get to know my family. I’ll still visit you…”

“Izumi, my darling girl, have a little more ambition.”

“Did you forget what you admitted yesterday? Do you think that I did?” Izumi wondered then, for the first time if this woman was truly that far gone that she couldn’t distinguish real life from the lies she told. If Azula could’ve forgotten from time to time that she wasn’t Izumi’s real mother, but rather her kidnapper.

“I don’t want to talk about that.” Azula shrunk back into her chair and looked away.

“The thing is, Mom, that—”

“And it seems that you don’t either.” The woman surprised Izumi then by reaching out and grabbing her hands across the table. “Let’s just leave this place. I’ll show you how... We don’t ever have to speak about any of this.”

“I don’t want that.” Izumi wanted to pull away. Her mother’s touch didn’t feel the same anymore, it probably never would again. Before, when Azula squeezed her tightly, Izumi felt loved and needed and so, so safe… Now, however, Azula’s hands squeezing her wrists felt like shackles.

“Sure, you do… You love me, don’t you?”

“I do, but…” Izumi stood up, then took a step closer, before crouching down in front of the woman. “Listen, Azula…” The name almost got stuck in her throat, but she carried on. “You’re not well. It’s not your fault, but you need to stay here with people who can help you.”

“How dare you?” Azula pulled back her hand, blinking back tears. “They’re filling your heads with lies about me. I’m fine. I used to be… I used to… I had some problems, but they all went away when I found _you_.” Like she was forgetting her anger from a few seconds ago, Azula stroked Izumi’s hair then. “You make me better. I’ve been better ever since we’ve been together. I won’t be better if you leave me down here.”

And there it was… The answer Izumi thought she’d need to wait through months of therapy to get. Why she was taken from her parents in the middle of the night.

“You’re not fine.” Izumi got up, pulling away completely. “I don’t remember a time you were fine, and I’m not your cure.”

Azula stared at her, motionless.

“Believe me when I say I truly want to see you get better,” Izumi continued. “I want you to be able to sleep through the night. I want you to be allowed to walk around freely again. And I want you to come to terms with what you’ve done to me and the rest of our family.”

**oooooooooo**

“That couldn’t have been easy.” Zuko waited just on the other side of the door, just like he’d said he would. Izumi wondered if he’d heard anything of her conversation with Azula.

“No, it wasn’t.” Izumi let out a breath, and only then noticed Mai in the doorway.

“The doctor’s just arrived,” the Fire Lady said. “She says she can talk to Azula as early as this evening.”

“That’s good news,” Izumi said, then noticed the discomfort on both of her parents’ faces. “Isn’t it?”

“She agreed to see you first,” Mai informed them, but only Zuko seemed to know what it meant.

“You mean, like, to tell her about Azula’s symptoms and such?” Izumi didn’t like how easily it came to her to call the woman by her name when she wasn’t in the room.

“Yes, that mostly,” Zuko replied rather quickly. Too quickly.

“No…” Mai shot him a sharp look. “I mean, you’ve been living with an unstable woman who’s systematically been lying to you since you were old enough to understand her. We want the doctor to evaluate you too. It would be best if you were to keep seeing her for a few months.”

“You think there’s something wrong with me?” Izumi looked at the Fire Lady first, her face was as stoic as ever, then at the Fire Lord who appeared to be sorry for the things his wife just said.

“Not wrong, no…” Zuko shot a look back at Mai. “We just want to make sure you’re okay. We’re concerned about you. You… Well, you seem to have quite a strong attachment to my sister, even now that you know the truth.”

“Attachment?” Izumi wanted to yell, but didn’t think it would help prove her sanity. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing… It was a soothing string of understatements eerily similar to the one she just told Azula. “Until a day ago, as far as I knew, she was my mother. She used to brush my hair, read me bedtime stories, teach me to protect myself… There would be something wrong with me if I didn’t have an attachment to her.”

Izumi paused to give her words the weight they deserved, then stormed out of the room. She was furious at them, at herself, at… Something. She couldn’t quite place it, but she was so, so angry and so, so lost and… She needed to do some firebending forms. It always cleared her head. However, the direction she went in her fury didn’t seem familiar to her at all, and she soon realized she was in a completely different wing of the palace than she intended. Not seeing anyone she could ask for directions, she went back the same way she came and ended up right back in front of the hallway that led to Azula. Surprisingly, the Fire Lord and Lady were still there, discussing something in front of the woman’s door.

“She’ll come around, you’ll see.” It was when Izumi heard Zuko say that, that she realized they could not see her, while she could hear them fine. The right thing to do in that moment was probably to leave on her way, but Izumi leaned on the wall so she was sure they couldn’t see her and listened closely.

“How? How will she come around if you don’t want to talk to her about it?” Mai insisted.

“I just want her to—”

“You want her to like you! You don’t care what she needs.”

“I do want her to like me!” Zuko raised his voice too and Izumi suddenly regretted not walking away. She couldn’t come out and show herself now. “I want to bond with my daughter! I won’t apologize. We’ve lost so many years, I don’t want to waste another second.” His voice cracked at that last word and Izumi wondered if she could already love her father, even though she’d just met him a day ago.

“Calm down, I’m sorry.” Mai’s voice softened.

“What Izumi needs,” Zuko sounded composed again. “Are parents who love and support her through this difficult transition.”

“That’s easy for you to say.”

“Mai…”

“You’re not the one Azula replaced.”

**oooooooooo**

“Let’s see it.” Zuko called for Izumi to get out from behind the room partition.

“I don’t know about this one… Long sleeves are not really for me.” If she was being completely honest, Izumi wanted to say that the entirety of royal life wasn’t for her.

Two weeks had passed since she’d arrived at the palace. Two weeks since her life changed forever. And to think she was excited as a child to find out about her status as a princess… She missed the sea. She missed sand under her bare feet. This place, it let almost no sun in. How could so many firebenders live without the sun on their face?

“I’m sure it’s perfect,” Zuko encouraged her and she stepped out, searching his face for a reaction.

“So?”

“I think that’s the one.” He smiled ear to ear. “It’s only missing one thing.” He revealed he was holding the Crown Princess headpiece. “Can I?”

Izumi nodded and came closer so he could place the ornament into her top-knot. She was slowly getting used to her hair being shorter now, yet she still longed for the day when she would feel it reach her waist again. It currently curled significantly due to the length, which made it appear even shorter than it actually was.

Zuko smiled again once the headpiece was in place, then pulled her towards the big mirror. As she watched the reflection, her dressed as a real princess, and the Fire Lord standing behind her with his hand on her shoulder, she could almost see this was supposed to be her life. She wished she could at least glimpse at what kind of person she would be had she grown up as Princess Ursa.

“You think they’ll buy it?” she asked, getting a chuckle out of her father.

“Buy it? We’re not lying. We’re telling the truth, and the truth always finds a way.”

“I don’t know about that…” she looked down at her feet in fancy, red slippers.

“Of course, it does. We found each other, didn’t we? Against everything.”

She couldn’t deny him that. These days in the palace her father was the only thing that felt right to her. The clothes were uncomfortable, the food was too spicy, the rooms crowded with servants and there were not enough windows, not by far. But Fire Lord Zuko… He was just right.

Izumi looked at him then, and found his gaze focusing on her shoulder. The one where the dress barely concealed her burn. It had healed some in the recent weeks, but there was no denying she would have the scar forever.

“It’s nothing.”

“I’m so sorry,” he said again. She was pretty sure she’d heard him apologize more times than he’d said her name.

“It’s really, okay… You didn’t know.” Desperate to change the subject, she focused on her reflection again and found a lock of hair out of place. “I’ll need to find a pin for this. Or they won’t believe I’m a princess...”

“They’ll love you.” He smiled again. “And you look like me, there’s no mistaking it.”

It was two days until the Fire Lord was to announce to the whole country that he’d found his daughter and heir. Everyone would want to see her, meet her… She’d talk to the Avatar, meet his children… The whole world would know her name.

“But do you think they’ll accept it? Me as their princess? I mean, I’m not exactly… Well, I can fish with my hands. I’m not exactly princess material.”

He chuckled. “I think the fact that you were raised among them, not isolated here, will only serve as an advantage. If you let it, it will make you a better, kinder princess, and later, Fire Lord.”

Izumi surged forward and threw her arms around her father. Zuko happily hugged back.

“Thank you, Dad.”

It wasn’t the first time she’d called him that, but it made Zuko so happy to hear it each time. It felt good to say it too, since she never even dreamed she would get a chance to.

“You can ask your mom for that pin,” he suggested as soon as the hug ended.

“You really think they let her have pins down—”

Oh.

He probably meant Mai, not Azula.

“You know what?” She looked at her reflection again. “I probably don’t need it anyway… It’s so pretty like this.”

She turned to leave, but couldn’t get out of the room before he spoke again.

“You can talk to her, you know… My wife, your mother. Anytime, about anything… She would love that.”

“I don’t think she would.”

Unlike Zuko, like most of palace life, Mai as her mother simply didn’t fit. The two of them barely spoke in the last two weeks, and when they did, it was something practical. At first, Izumi had theorized that Mai didn’t believe her to really be Ursa. But that didn’t appear to be true.

Izumi tried to push away the thoughts, but sometimes, it seemed as if Mai wasn’t happy her daughter was back. Like she didn’t miss her as much as Zuko did. Like she just didn’t care.

“Nonsense.” Zuko waved off her words. “She loves you. She wants to get to know you as much as I do.”

“Then why doesn’t she show it?”

“She does, just… differently.”

“I have yet to see her cry, or smile, or show an emotion towards me… I don’t think she wants me here.”

“Don’t say that,” Zuko said firmly. It was a tone from him she was yet to hear directed at her.

“I’m sorry, I’m just saying what I’ve seen…”

“Let me tell you what I’ve seen.” Zuko turned from her and walked to the window to look outside. “When we lost you, we were both broken. But the Fire Nation still needed a Fire Lord. So a week after, I had to pull myself together the best I could, and carry on like nothing had happened.” He shuddered saying the words. “Mai… She was the one to go out and look for you, since I couldn’t. At first, our friends went with her, and all the men I could spare. Every week she would come back and have to tell me she’d failed, again.” He paused to wipe the tears away, and Izumi wanted to yell for him to stop since she knew where the story was going. “Our friends had to stop going after a month or so, they had their own lives… I needed the manpower elsewhere eventually… Mai just kept searching. I remember I was so afraid of losing her, too, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell her to stop.”

“How long did she…?”

“Years…” Zuko chuckled bitterly. “Long after it would’ve been possible for her to identify you. She didn’t want to admit you were gone. The day she finally stayed home… She was never the same.” He turned to her with tears streaming down his face. “So, if she doesn’t cry anymore, it’s because she’s all out of tears.”

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to—”

“If you want to believe one of us didn’t care enough, please let it be me, not Mai.”

She ran into him after that, and put her arms around him with such force, she almost knocked him back.

**oooooooooo**

Azula woke up with a shadow standing over her. Entirely dark, entirely unmoving, entirely quiet.

Only when her eyes adjusted to being suddenly awake, did she recognize the shadow as Mai.

Azula scanned the Fire Lady’s face looking for a clue as to why she’d come to see her, but, in the end, it was her hand that provided that information. Mai was clutching one of her daggers.

“That’s how it has to be then?” Azula asked, slowly getting up with her hands above her head and her eyes on the dagger. “Ty Lee did interrupt us last time.”

“It didn’t have to be like this, but then you took my daughter, you crazy bitch.” It was jarring, even for Azula, to hear someone use insults in such a level voice someone else would’ve used for facts.

“Why did you wait for me to wake then?” Azula willed herself to look away from the knife and meet the woman’s eyes. So much hate there… Not a surprise. Had someone even tried taking Izumi from Azula, she would’ve been ten times worse. “Did you want to give me a chance to _explain myself_? _Realize my mistake_? _Apologize_ and _repent_ maybe?”

“No.” Mai took a step closer, showing clearly she wasn’t afraid, but Azula didn’t back away. “When I kill you, it will be fair. Not like when you snuck into my home in the middle of the night and took my baby from her crib.”

“You had Zuko. Why didn’t you just make another kid?”

“Why didn’t you just _steal_ another kid?” Mai challenged. “If you were really a mother, you wouldn’t even dream of asking such a question.”

“You’re not Izumi’s mother anymore,” Azula said, but couldn’t help but notice it came out quieter than she’d intended. The knife twitched in Mai’s hand.

“I was always her mother.”

“That’s not what she thinks.” Azula grinned and Mai pounced at her, pinning her to a wall and placing her dagger at her neck.

“It’s true, and you know it too… Otherwise you wouldn’t be here. But I won’t fight you.”

“I’m not falling for that.”

“I really won’t.” Azula chuckled slightly, feeling the cold metal nick the skin of her throat. “If I fight you and win, well… Izumi would hate me. Zuko would have me executed, so she would hate him too. My daughter would be left with no one. On the other hand, if you _somehow_ win and kill me, well, you’d say I attacked you, wouldn’t you?”

Mai pulled the dagger back an inch or two.

“It’s so easy, isn’t it?” Azula continued. “Blaming the crazy woman. In that scenario Izumi would forgive you eventually but resent me. I won’t let that happen. If you wish to kill me, do it, but I won’t give you an excuse. Everyone will know what you’ve done. Izumi will know… She will hate you forever.”

Mai was quiet after that, no doubt swallowing her anger and loathing. Still just as self-controlled as Azula remembered her to be. Just like the girl put up with Azula’s manipulation when they were younger, the woman was just realizing how helpless she still was against her childhood friend. Azula had to suppress a smile as Mai lowered her dagger.

Yet the woman was not backing away, she drew even closer, like she was about to embrace Azula, and then grabbed hold of her arm forcefully. Mai was close enough to whisper.

“Not if I cut your wrists, not your neck.”

The trick with lighting generation was, you had to have a level head. Azula could’ve zapped Mai at any point, which meant she hadn’t been in any danger until then. Mai’s statement, however, chilled her blood. Last time, decades ago, when she’d found herself going against Mai, Azula hadn’t felt a shred of fear. Now, she fought and lost to keep the horror and distress off her face.

That’s when Izumi came in through the door.

**oooooooooo**

“Get away from my mother!” The words escaped before Izumi could think. It looked like Mai immediately understood she was referring to Azula, since the Fire Lady took two steps back and put her weapon away. Izumi still ran to stand between them. “What are you doing?”

Mai offered her no answer. Not even a change in expression. Azula tried reaching out with her hand to grab Izumi’s shoulder, but as soon as she felt the woman’s touch, Izumi flinched away from the hand. She didn’t know how, but sometime over the past two weeks she’d ended up with no mother. Neither of the women in the room felt like her mother anymore.

“Dad assured me she wouldn’t be harmed,” Izumi added, staring Mai down. Trying, anyway…

“You know what she did.”

“She’s not well, it’s not her fault.” Izumi spread her hands, protecting Azula from Mai’s view. “The doctor says she’s making progress.”

“Of course, she is. She’s clear as day. Just like she was the day she took my daughter.” Mai gestured. “She’s playing us! She got caught, now she’s lying her way out, and getting away with it, as always.”

“I might be better, but you’re sounding a little bit delirious yourself these days, old friend,” Azula said from behind Izumi.

“Enough! Both of you!” Izumi glanced back at Azula briefly, then brought her attention back to the Fire Lady. It was creepy in a way, but this was the first thing Mai did that Izumi could relate to. Back when she’d thought the Fire Lord was a threat to her _helpless_ mother, Izumi had been ready to do anything, even kill, just to help her. In a similar way, Azula had taken Mai’s helpless baby daughter. There was a big difference though. Izumi would’ve killed to prevent, this, however, was just revenge.

“She raised you just to punish us,” Mai said after a quiet moment.

“Maybe she did…” Izumi shocked even herself with that. “But she raised me to know mercy. That’s what I’m asking. I’m not claiming she’s done nothing wrong. I’m not hoping you’ll forgive her. I’m asking you to, please, show her mercy. For me.”

Mai stared at her, expressionless as always, for half a minute at least. Izumi didn’t move at all. She’d meant what she said. At one point, she was sure she’d seen the woman’s lip quiver slightly, but it must have been a mistake, since no tears followed. Izumi was determined to stand her ground. No matter how foreign and wrong spending time with Azula felt at the moment, it didn’t mean she'd stand by and let the woman that had been her mother get murdered in front of her. It was like Mai could sense that resolve, since she turned and left without warning. Without even a word.

Azula hugged Izumi after they were left alone, and Izumi wanted it to feel normal more than anything. It didn’t.

“I’m so glad you’re okay.” It wasn’t a lie, Izumi was glad no one had died. It still felt false, though, as the only thoughts on the girl’s mind during the hug were… _Don’t touch me... Let go... Don’t touch me... Let go…_

**oooooooooo**

Izumi didn’t want to talk to Mai. Not really. But the alternative was to stay with Azula in her little room every second of every day, protecting her, and that she wanted to do even less. Yes, she could’ve gone to Zuko, begged him to make it right, but he’d already promised her Azula’s safety and hadn’t delivered.

“Can we talk?” Izumi asked once the guards let her into the Fire Lord’s bedroom.

Mai gestured with her hand, and while Izumi had no idea what that meant, the guards did. The doors behind her closed suddenly and she was alone in the giant lavish room with her first mother. The Fire Lady was seated on the bed and Izumi only took a few steps towards her before stopping. How to begin?

“Your _mother_ has nothing to fear from me.”

That was… easy. She’d gotten what she wanted without even asking for it. Yet, the whole thing didn’t sit right with Izumi. What if Mai changed her mind again?

“I do know you’re my mother, you know…” Izumi took another careful step closer. “Despite everything, I do.”

“Good.” That one word was all Mai offered, that and stern eye contact.

This is what Izumi hated. There was no way to read what the woman felt or what she was thinking at that moment. How was Izumi supposed to talk to her if she couldn’t judge how her words affected the woman?

Izumi moved closer again, but still gave the Fire Lady a few steps of room. She hoped to catch a reaction to this but came up empty handed. The only thing she could see was that Mai still had her eyes and her attention fixed on her. It meant the conversation wasn’t yet over even though it had been a dozen seconds since either of them had said anything.

“Zuko told you, didn’t he?” Mai broke the silence. “About who searched for you.”

“Yes, how did you—”

“The pity. I’ve seen a lot of it in people since we lost you.”

Zuko could still barely mention it without tearing up and needing a moment. Not this woman. Just like her knives, the Fire Lord’s wife was cold and unyielding steel, Izumi was learning.

“That’s actually something I wanted to talk to you about.” Izumi took a deep breath. Here it went… She smiled and continued. “I wanted to say thank you. I cannot even imagine how hard it must have been—”

“Please, stop.”

“Why?!” Izumi fixed her tone after that one angry word. “Don’t you want to hear what I have to say? Don’t you want to have a relationship with me at all?”

“Of course, I do.”

“Then why won’t you—”

“When you’re ready,” Mai said, still as monotone as always.

“When I’m ready? I’m ready now, I’m here trying to talk to you, trying to build a relationship, but you don’t listen, or smile, or cry, or react at all, like you don’t even care that I’m here.” Izumi watched the woman’s face. Not a tear.

“I care.”

“You act like you don’t.”

“You’re the one that’s acting, Izumi. You do the same thing I’m doing.”

Izumi huffed, then said, “I show my emotions, clear as day.”

“You show something. You show whatever will make your _mother_ calm and happy.” The inflection signaled she wasn’t referring to herself but rather the woman in the basement. “I know, that’s because you were forced to grow up with her. You’ve probably been walking on eggshells around her since you were old enough to understand words. You’ve had to be the _loving daughter_ every single hour of every single day. But I will not have our home become a stage where we perform for each other, I’ve dealt with that enough as a child.”

“I don’t even talk to her that much anymore…”

“It’s not just about her. You tell Zuko whatever he wants to hear, and you act exactly like he expects you to. Now, you tried to do the same thing with me, comfort me with lies about forgiveness and what else…”

“I don’t do that! I just wanted you to feel better.”

“Let’s get one thing straight, we’re your parents, it is not your purpose or your responsibility to make us happy.”

Izumi had no words to say back. Her mind was focused only on what she’d just heard, as it rang over and over in her ears. She sat down on the bed next to Mai but didn’t look at her. They sat like that, Mai stoic as ever, while Izumi’s whole body moved as she breathed in and out.

“My shoulder hurts,” Izumi confessed finally after almost a minute of silence. “Really bad. It’s not getting better at all…” She felt tears pooling in her eyes and made little effort to hold them back. “And I tell Dad it’s fine, because I know he’s sorry and I know he didn’t mean it and I know he feels awful about it, but… It hurts so much I can’t sleep!”

Hot tears were already collecting on Izumi’s chin when she allowed herself a break to catch her breath. The rapid breathing from crying was making the injury hurt even more now and she wanted to scream. Scream and breathe fire and destroy a room again like she did on her first night here. At the same time, she wanted to hide, shrink and hide and disappear so she didn’t have to be a princess anymore.

She did do what Mai had accused her of. It was the only way she knew how to behave...

A sensation on her palm brought Izumi’s attention back from her own mind. It was Mai. The woman was still silent and unmoving, although, it appeared a few inches closer than before, and she’d reached out and taken Izumi’s hand into her own.

“And I know how much he’s looking forward to announcing me as his daughter to everyone, but… I’m scared... I can’t be Fire Lord, I still get lost around the palace!” She felt the need to chuckle at that, but her breathing wouldn’t allow it. Izumi’d never cried like this, with her chest aching, throat burning and a sick feeling deep inside her stomach. “And I can’t… All the people… I’ve never been around so many people at once, and here they’re around you all the time! I just can’t… It’s too much, it’s… They’re always watching you, following you, I can’t...”

The sobs took over again, and Izumi stopped talking. Her vision was blurry, but she felt more than saw when Mai reached out to hold her. The woman’s touch was gentle, offering, not demanding. In a heartbeat Izumi leaned into the woman, letting herself be held as she cried into the Fire Lady’s shoulder.

And just like that Izumi had a mom again.

Someone whose embrace felt safe. Mai didn’t stroke her hair like Azula always used to. Mai rubbed circles across her back. Izumi found it relaxed her and slowly, with breaks, told her mother everything she was feeling. About how being around Azula unsettled her now. About every little thing at the palace that almost sent her into a panic attack every day. About how overwhelming all the new information was to her.

Izumi knew Mai was crying when she felt a part of her dress closest to Mai’s face getting wet. It didn’t change the woman’s voice at all.

“I’ll tell Zuko. We won’t make you do anything you don’t want to.”

“But I don’t want to upset him…” Izumi’s sobbing had all but subsided, yet her voice still betrayed her and quivered.

“Izumi, you’ve had to take care of Azula your whole life, and that wasn’t fair to you. But it’s all going to be different now. You won’t have to take care of your father and I, we’re here to take care of you.” Mai pulled from Izumi a bit so she could look at her face. “Understand?”

“I do.”

Now Izumi could see them. Tears in Mai’s eyes. She’d known, but seeing the stoic woman cry was something else entirely. In that moment, Izumi couldn’t believe she ever doubted this woman was her mother. She felt the need to put it into words. How at peace she finally felt, how this finally felt like the right place for her to be…

“I wish you could’ve found me.”

It came out before Izumi could think, before she could realize how ungrateful it sounded. It was almost an attack, an insult even.

“I wish that too.” Izumi’s mother didn’t seem to be offended or surprised by the remark. She moved one of her hands to wipe tears off her daughter’s face gently, then smiled through her own tears. “I wish you could’ve grown up knowing how loved, and wanted, and ultimately missed you were.”

Izumi nodded in understanding as more tears escaped her. She wanted to say her and Zuko would’ve been great parents to her. _Were_ great parents to her now. The words wouldn’t leave her throat, however, so Izumi moved to hug her mother again.

**oooooooooo**

Over the years, Mai had gotten used to imagining conversations with her daughter Ursa. Nothing too concerning, she simply liked to imagine what her daughter would look like were she with her. What the girl would sound like, what she’d like to do… And now, she was _really_ here. Her name was Izumi, and she was completely perfect, and sleeping peacefully with her head resting on Mai’s lap. The girl’s whole body radiated heat more intensely, just like any other firebender, and Mai was content simply sitting there, studying her daughter’s face. And how beautiful the girl was… Mai couldn’t have even imagined that.

It wasn’t fair. The whole situation… The fact that Mai had put her infant daughter to sleep one night, then had to wait almost fifteen years to hold her again. And Mai couldn’t even feel anger about that anymore. Not now that she had Izumi back alive.

Zuko entered their bedroom then, seemingly preparing to say something, but stopped once he noticed his wife and daughter on the bed. He paused carefully, before smiling so wide, Mai was sure she hadn’t seen him do that since they’d lost their baby.

“You two made up?” He asked softly, stepping closer.

“We were never fighting, we—” She was cut off when he kissed her lightly. “We’re alright now.”

“That’s the best thing I’ve heard all day.” He crouched down next to the bed where he could look at Izumi more closely. “I wanted to talk to you both about the proclamation, but I guess it can wait.”

“We wanted to talk to you about it too.” Mai reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder. “She’s not ready, Zuko.” He opened his mouth to say something, but she cut him off. “She said so herself. She didn’t want to disappoint you, but it’s too much for her all at once.”

“She told you that?”

“She broke down in tears.”

Zuko looked back down to their daughter’s face, and moved a lock of hair from it.

“I didn’t mean to make her feel like that…” he said, finally.

“I know. She knows too.” Mai stroked his cheek. “It’s just that we’ve been wishing for this for years, and she only just met us. It’s hard.”

“I know,” he said solemnly, then turned his face to kiss Mai’s hand that still rested on his cheek.

Then Mai felt Izumi stirring.

“Dad?” the girl asked, before her eyes even opened and Mai could see how much it meant to Zuko to hear it every time. “You’re both here?”

“I was just telling your dad what you told me about announcing you’re our daughter,” Mai explained.

“I’m sorry.” Izumi turned to look at Zuko.

“Please don’t be.” He stood up, then sat on the bed so that Izumi was between him and Mai. “I’m the one who should apologize for pushing you. We can make the proclamation in a few months, or next year, or never… It’s up to you. You can be our daughter without being our heir.”

Izumi lifted her head from Mai’s lap to sit up, and Mai already felt like she missed her even though she was only inches away.

“I want to take on my responsibilities eventually, I’m sure of that.” Izumi spoke softly but seemed much more sure of herself. “I just want to feel like I belong when I do.” She paused. “I do feel like I belong with you.” She looked at Zuko, then Mai. “Both of you. But not here in the palace.”

Zuko nodded in understanding.

“I still think you should talk to Azula’s doctor. She could help you assimilate better, perhaps.” Mai added.

“You’re right, Mom. I’ll find the time.” Izumi grinned at her, then turned to ask Zuko something. Mai didn’t hear them. She was frozen.

_You’re right, Mom..._

_Mom_.

**oooooooooo**

It had been two months since Azula had last seen her daughter. Her… Her niece. Izumi was her niece. It was something Azula had to internalize if she ever wanted to see the girl again. If she ever wanted to see the outside world again.

The Princess sat on her bed, staring at an empty page of her diary. The shrink woman had suggested writing it. Or rather, the woman had implied there would be no freedom of any kind until Azula started writing in it. It was a special kind of torture, Azula found, making a person read through their thoughts as they were once they were at their lowest point. That diary held some disturbing things.

_Better than your head holding them, wouldn’t you say?_

The woman had said that, when Azula addressed the matter during their meetings.

_I find myself at a loss for words_ , Azula started writing finally. She wanted her entries to be eloquent, insightful and to the point. Everything she did, she wanted to do perfectly, but this time, it wasn’t coming together. She’d already written about missing Izumi tens of times, in a new, convoluted way each time.

_I miss my niece very much_.

She tried being as simple as possible this time. It was still true.

The doors opened then, letting Zuko in, but didn’t close back up. Besides the shrink, the only one that visited Azula’s sad little room in the basement was her brother. He’d kept her well-informed about Izumi’s new life at the palace. Azula was at least thankful for that, even if she wasn’t sure whether to believe everything he said. Down here in her room, she was at least allowed to move around freely. No shackles, no restraints. She didn’t get up to greet him, but she did close her diary and shove it between her sheets.

“How are you feeling today?” he asked. To anyone else, it would’ve seemed polite, yet she knew he was asking from a medical standpoint.

“Fine. How’s Izumi?”

“She’s still doing great.” Zuko didn’t sit down like he usually did during his visits. The door was still open… What was going on? Did he suddenly not trust her?

“That’s all I get?” Who was she kidding? He never trusted her...

“She’s fighting one of the guards today. In a few minutes actually…”

“You let my… Izumi get herself challenged to an Agni Kai?” Azula felt a stab of worry at the idea, no matter how skilled she knew the girl to be.

“No, no… It’s just a friendly spar.” Zuko paced. “Apparently, Izumi stole the woman’s uniform to get into the palace, so the woman wanted a rematch to prove she would’ve beaten Izumi in regular conditions.”

“Bold of a servant, don’t you think?” Azula scuffed.

“That’s what I came here to tell you, actually. Since you’ve been the one to train Izumi, so well in fact that all the teachers we’ve hired for her have nothing to do… I wanted to ask if you’d like to watch her fight today, together with Mai and I.”

Azula’s eyes widened.

“Yes. Yes, I would.”

“You wouldn’t be close, you can’t talk to her, or intervene. You’d only watch with us under constant supervision.”

“Yes, yes, take me.” Azula stepped up to him holding out her hands. “Take me there now.”

She didn’t intend to sound so desperate, yet couldn’t contain herself.

Zuko’s guards came in next to put her hands and feet in shackles. She’d gotten off easy with that. She’d expected to be put back into a straitjacket, but it seemed that Izumi had forbade them from using one on her dear, deranged aunt. Azula wondered still, how her _niece_ saw her these days. Did she still have to remind herself Azula wasn’t her mother? Was Azula really just an aunt now? Or even less than that, the girl’s kidnapper and nothing more?

The balcony where the guards left her had the best view of the garden in the palace. Azula had to strain her eyes, but she eventually spotted the spot down below where Izumi and a young woman were stretching on a mat. There was a small crowd gathered around them there, consisting of mostly guards, a few servants perhaps, while the balcony held only Mai, Zuko and her.

Azula walked to the railing, then leaned her elbows on it, clunking her chains against the metal. The sun touched her face for the first time in months and she realized just how much she’d missed it.

“They’ll begin when I give the signal,” Zuko said from her left. “Are you okay?”

“Just perfect.” Azula locked eyes with Izumi down below, and suddenly realized she’d missed the girl more than she’d missed the sun. She could still love her even if she was _their_ daughter, right?

The girl smiled awkwardly and waved, then got back to warming up.

“Take one suspicious breath,” Mai finally spoke, not even sparing Azula a glance. “And there will be a fight up here too. A short one.”

“Whenever you’re ready, Fire Lady.”

“Hey, hey, no!” Zuko moved to stand in between the two of them. “We are here to support Izumi expanding her social circle and Azula’s first step towards a reintegration into society. Not to quip at one another.”

With both the women now silent at his side, Zuko gave the hand signal to start the match. Izumi allowed the woman to attack first, something Azula had taught her when dealing with someone of unknown skill. By what Azula could judge after only a few moves, the woman was not as good as Izumi, so it made no sense for her niece to be having such a hard time of it, unless...

“I thought she had this,” Zuko said.

“It’s coming…” Azula didn’t take her eyes off the fighting.

“What’s coming?”

“She likes to drag things out when she’s not challenged enough.”

Zuko turned to her in confusion only to miss when Izumi suddenly, and to most unexpectedly, kicked the guard woman out of the fighting area.

“I taught her that,” Azula declared, before noticing her daughter running to the bushes to help her opponent up. _Well, I haven’t taught her that..._

Only once she’d made sure the woman was okay, did Izumi raise her hands up in celebration. The other guards, men and women only a few years older than she was, surrounded her then, and Azula was sure she’d never seen Izumi smile quite like she smiled in that moment.

And if Izumi was happy, well… Azula could find a way to be happy too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s done.
> 
> Mai’s the assassin this time around, unsuccessful again. It’s more of a murder attempt than an assassination, but squint please… And don’t blame her too much, she slipped up after fifteen years of constant pain. Wishing for revenge is one of the most human feelings around.
> 
> Izumi’s little breakdown in front of Mai was just my way of letting it be known you cannot raise a person on a deserted island with very, very little outside contact and just get a well-adjusted person at the end of it. When our girl is in a room with more people than she’d met in her first fifteen years she’s gonna freak.
> 
> And I’ll level with you, I had no idea how to finish this, especially what to do with Azula. She’d caused so much pain and harm to all the members of her family, but then again she was sick, and desperately needed help she wasn’t getting.
> 
> I was gonna have them lock Azula away somewhere dark and far, but my hand wouldn’t type it. And it might be because I love Azula as a character, but I mean… We don’t suffer abusers, that’s true, but we also listen to Uncle Iroh and help others even if we’re hurting too (especially if we’re hurting too).
> 
> I really hope you liked how this was concluded, I could’ve dragged this chapter out to two, but I… just didn’t want to.
> 
> If you’ve enjoyed this, maybe you’d like my story The Stupidest Thing I Ever Did, it has nothing to do with this one, but has a similar vibe and Izumi as the main character. Or maybe Runaways if you liked Azula taking care of a child.

**Author's Note:**

> Any and all reviews, thoughts and questions welcome and encouraged :)


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